Am Not Coping

@Faith-and-Hope I can hear how hard on you this all is Hon I wish so much you didn't have to move but knowing it is hppening whether you like it or not we are here to support you through this. You sacrifice so much for your family and those decisions are often taken out of your hands. I am pleased you have your art course in the east and that continuing your skills and research iin the west s providing you with some relief at times.

I hope you connect with some friends at church this morning and find comfort in that too.

None of this is easy for you and I can hear it is taking it;s toll on you - stay strong my angel - you will get through it

@Owlunar It is frustrating because I have done everything I could to get back to work sooner rather than later - maybe this is a blessing in disguise - it gives me more time to do things at home and with the weather improving I may be able to get out in the garden a little more. I can't change it so I need to accept it is what it is and try to move on for now. My gp nd pdoc being away certainly stops the process from moving ahead and that is going to cause further issues for next term - but again that is not my problem - if HR had provided the detils that they are now asking for when I initially requested such informtion then this would not be an issue now. That is for them to now deal with though.I provided all the info tht was intially requested by the HR person - now it has gone to the Regional Manager and they want more - again ...not my problem ...they will have to wait until my gp and pdoc have returned to get that info.

Hi @Pepsimax A quiet day for me today - maybe a little housework but I am very tired today so it won't be until later when hopefully I feel a little better

Hi again @Zoe7

Well yes - it is a blessing if you have other plans and it has been a bitter winter and I found the outside of my house was really overgrown with a variety of weeds - and thistles which is different - I have one growing on top of the car port - let's hope the summer beats that one

So I can imagine - you have work outside and work inside you can take your time about attending to - and maybe your health will improve as the warmer weather takes over and when you do get back to work you will be all that much further along with your recovery

You will be able to take Toby to the beach and enjoy that - I have started walking a couple of km since I got back from Cairns - twice a week - I could walk to the beach if I went a little further than my planned destination - I always get a taxi home after my injection - I have to take things easy after it but I could walk and catch a bus home on other days

It's nearly a year since I had the operation on my knee and there have been times when I have really wondered if that was a good idea but I can straighten my right leg now and I am getting my calf-muscle back - and it feels so good on an afternoon like yesterday with the sun shining on me

So - I am wishing all of this for you - and the time to do it seems a pretty strong blessing in disguise to me

Go for it

Dec

@Owlunar @Zoe7 ... thank you .... 💜

Changed my mind ... will go to church tomorrow. Heading to growers markets with my girls.

@Faith-and-Hope, @Zoe7

Trying to accept things how they are and not get too bogged down in what I can't change @Owlunar Too much of my life has been spent in wishing things were different - the fact is - like most of us here - they just aren't and there is nothing we can do to change the past - we need to find ways to live with it and continue to move forward! Work for me is a massive step forward and honestly one I did not think would happen so soon but the meds are working and I am feeling less tired during the day than I was. I have been getting through DBT and able to participate rather than switching off because I was anxious and tired - so that is a massive step forward. I have done everything that has been put in front of me to do by my gp and pdoc and am taking little steps forward as a result. There are still tough days and tough times but I feel more ble to get through them now than I did even a month ago - so that is positive.

Have a good time with your girls @Faith-and-Hope - I need to do some veggie shopping soon but have enouogh left for several days yet.

@Former-Member will come back for the image but wanted to say Hi and how lovely it is to see you Hon

Love the image @Former-Member Thank you 💕🌹💜

Yes @Zoe7

I spent too much time wishing things were different but I have reached a stage where that isn't an issue anymore and yet - there are so many things that could have been better

And that is something I have been thinking about because I started a thread about Women's Mental Health and Self-Esteem and for a while I have been thinking about it and what to write because I feel it's really important and I want the thread to live

And one of the things we do wish we could change is the unalterable past - and one of the hardest things to get past is my mother - although it toxic fumes have blown off there are times when I feel incredibly sad for her sake - what an unhappy woman she was

But I have let it go - I can wonder without it hurting - in fact - I have had moments of incredible clarity about it since I reached a region of inner peace about many things since she died

One thing that has changed my thinking has been my Blood Pressure Medication - it is often prescribed for anxiety and I have been less anxious - no desire to see another therapist exists right now - which is wonderful - I am not sure when my thinking really changed and I accepted so much

Was it before or after I started with the BP medication? Not that it really matters

And for you - following through what your doctor and your pdoc give you to do and even in a month you are improving -

It's a really great feeling isn't it - we do have good days and better days and rotten days but this is the natural order in the world - we don't have to be happy all the time

That was one of my big moments with a therapist - I am allowed to be unhappy of that's what's happening and would you believe the therapist tried to take that wonderful moment away from me - but I refused to be contradicted - that was a major moment for me

You really do work hard at improving your health Zoe and it shows in your writing

And your feedback is right on the ball

Dec

Thanks @Owlunar I do often read things more than once to get the line of thought someone is writing about We often miss things when we are not actively reading and that can become an issue in any conversation. I have noticed over the last month or so that you have become much more open in your posts and that is a great thing for you - maybe you are beginning to let go of more by not keeping it bottled up so much. It may be that the BP meds are reduving your anxiety and that is also allowing you to write more openly - whatever the reason it is nice to read

You have had a lot of internal pressure from your mother over the years and that is bound to affect you - and maybe since her passing you have been able to let some of that go - with the peace that your mother and son are now in maybe you have found a little for yourself too