Am Not Coping

As usual you are embracing these changes with a positive attitude Hon. You never cease to amaze me with how you get through these things - and as always you are inspiring to me and to others here.

@Faith-and-Hope It will be nice to catch up with your friend and it seems nice for her to have a break today too - I hope you both have a great day together

Hoping also that you see some dolphins - that would be wonderful for you

Hi @Zoe7

I know the weather is south Tassie - you are right - I am pretty lucky with weather when I travel and after staying for a few days with my rellies back in the 90s there was good weather and I took it with me to Bicheno and my aunt told me that day the weather had turned vicious in Hobart - and it does get cold there

In Cairns the hostess in the business class lounge saw I was travelling to Melbourne told me it is cold here - I told her I know - I live here - oddly enough I don't want to live anywhere else - I guess I have services set up here and the infrastructure suits me - but I am thinking of going away again - I have to do it while I still can - I think a few days in Lakes Entrance during the summer will be great - it's easier to get to - I can go in the train and I don't have to worry about a luggage drop - people take their stuff on the train

I know what you are writing about - I read it - I read everything and I feel really deep concern - and glad I am out of it - and you really say wonderful things.

I don't even like writing in a sub-text - but there are times when I wait anxiously for the next message - it's horrible - as peers what can we do? I feel a need to write support where I can - it just seems to me that the situation is getting worse all the time.

I know your concern - I can read that and I read so much here - I don't think you did anything wrong - I know you would not hurt anyone - you are an incredibly gentle person -

So take care of yourself - that is the most important - more and more I am seeing that taking care of ourselves is the first thing we should do and it is not at all selfish - it is actually like a prime-directive - we are in such an improved condition to help others when we care for ourselves - I think you know that - but we all need reassurance at times

I am okay today - I have had the heater on all night - it was sunny here yesterday but there was an icy wind blowing that got worse in the afternoon and I had hung my washing out and had to bring it back in because there was a heavy shower - spring weather is uncertain - tricky - even treacherous

Sending my best thoughts Zoe

Dec

Thank you so much for your kind words @Owlunar I will admit when I have made an error of judgement and in this case that is what it was. Yes I understand you needing to keep your distance and that the situation is getting worse. It is difficult some days to provide support as I am not always in the headspace to do that myself. But I have real affection for this person and although at times it is not easy I persist - that is all I can do - to keep them close and let them know I am listening and caring for them.

The weather is quite unpredictable here at the moment but we can be guaranteed of colder nights so my heater is always on still - I have it set quite low so when it reaches the required temp it shuts itself off. Today is cloudy but no rain as yet so that is good - I might be able to get out into the garden later today.

I will be off to the pool shortly but will check in with you later today. I do enjoy our conversations Dec

I enjoy our conversations too @Zoe7 - we actually have a lot in common

I left my heater on all night too - and the one in my bedroom - I need to leave it on all the time here too - getting cold doesn't help me at all and like you I need an even temperature as much as possible

Thanks for the feedback - I feel alone caring as I do - I wonder that this is allowed to continue without intervention - it seems really desperate. It is a relief just to share. I have a real affection too - I feel as if I lost a friend - I guess I never intended it to go so bad - but in retrospect that might have had a good side because other people are more aware of the situation

We are never really alone - what we do and say affects the Collective Human Unconsciousness - I think you most likely know what I am talking about - I struggled with it at first - but here we are - sharing with a number of anonymous people with all sorts of battles and our interactions here - or even when we do not interact - has an impact on other people - great or small - and this continues out into the world in ways we cannot see but happen anyway - so kindness and firmness and all sorts of care and concern spread out

I think this is fantastic

All the best with the pool - swimming or exercises in a warm pool sounds pretty good for today - I never did get to go swimming at the pool in Cairns - the water was too cold - the sun was hot - the air was hot - but I think it was fresh water in the pool and it was cold - I noticed adults rarely swam and then not for long and even children didn't swim for long - aw - I thought the water would be warmer - I am so glad I didn't get around to buying bathers -

I would have liked to swim in the tropics

Dec

hello @Sans911

Hello @Zoe7, @Owlunar, @Faith-and-Hope, @Pepsimax

I had a good time at the pool today @Owlunar It was a nice 32 degrees and there were not many people there. I also had the whole pool to mysefl for 15 minutes before the school kids came so I floated around and enjoyed the water. It is such a nice little pool and all the people that go there are really lovely - makes it easier to get up and get there each Tuesday and Thursday. The downside of returning to work will likely be that I can't go to the pool at the same time - I might have to put in a real effort to go on other days and maybe later in the day. I would go on a Sunday but they close at midday so it doesn't leave much time to get there and do my exercises (I am generally not a morning person lol)

It is a shame the water in Cairns was not warm - it would have been perfect being in the tropics nd floating around in the pool. I probably would have gotten in anyway but it would have had to be hot to do so.

The weather has turned to windy again here so no gardening this afternoon. It is very grey also now but I don't think we are expecting any rain for a couple of days.

I do have some things to do inside so I might try to get them done this afternoon - kitchen tidying and cleaning the floor are the main things I want to get done.

I didn't end up going to Bunnings as I had planned - slight headache returned so I cam home to take more meds and try to get to it before it got worse - meds seem to be doing the trick already

Hello @Shaz51 How are you and Mr. Shaz going? Is your Mum home from hospital yet?

@Faith-and-Hope I hope you are having a great time with your friend and that maybe you saw some dolphins on your walk this morning.

mum is home again now xx

I applied for the carer`s allowance and carer`s payment but have being rejected

I am see the diabetes specialist on monday as well as the dietician

Having the afternoon off @Zoe7, @Faith-and-Hope, no work

going down to the op shop soon -- they are having a $10 bag sale so going to buy some childrens clothes to fill some shoebaoxes i do every year for children who don`t get any christmas presents

you fill a shoebox with somethings like toys , clothes, shoes, balls, brushes , hair stuff, balloons, a soft toys , tebby bears ect , toothbrushes, notebooks , pencils , ect ect

It is good that your Mum is home but completely sucks about not being accepted for the carer's allowance. That makes it so much harder for you @Shaz51

I love the idea about the shoe boxes - it is so wonderful that you do that each year - there are many kids out there that do not have the necessities in life and filling boxes with clothes. brushes, teddies. etc. would give each child that received one such a lift - you are indeed a wonderful person @Shaz51 and so giving