Am Not Coping

@Zoe7 I’ve written something on my recovery thread that I thought about tagging you but decided against it knowing how much you have been struggling. I have been going ok with the losses but only because my mind is filled with lots of other things. I haven’t had much time to feel them but I totally understand your emotions. In the past it’s been one of my huge triggers to bring on sh. Just wanted to give you a heads up that it may not be helpful to read that thread job st yet and to let you to know that I’m thinking of you. 💜🤗

@Faith-and-Hope @Sans911 @Pepsimax and all passing through...

Have had morning tea with my Dad and family. It went ok - no dramas. Had the usual conversations about the horses and Dad talked to me about some computer issues but it was ok and I handled it!

I left Toby in their yard for the first time ever. He was so happy to see us when we got back - he must have had fun running around with their dog though as he slept all the way home in the car. He is snuggled up next to me now and I think we are both happy to be home.

I am very tired now and may need to have a sleep this afternoon. I am going to try to stay awake but my eyelids may close involuntarily lol

I hope everyone is having an ok day

It sounds as if things went well with your Dad @Zoe7 and Toby had fun running around with the other dog

And I am glad you are having a nap today - the other day when you mentioned trying not to sleep during the day I was really wishing I could - this gloomy weather ........... enough said - anyway

I tend to sleep late in the afternoon - I need to make sure I have a proper meal for lunch because I don't feel at all like eating when I have been asleep for a couple of hours - I have some emergency food for that sort of thing but I prefer to eat food I prepare myself without no added salt - the beef stew I could for lunch today and tomorrow is really yummy

The BP tablets - I keep saying this - make me drowsy in the afternoon - and I do have to sit down eventually - and Companion Cat gets onto my laps and purrs and gets snuggly and I totally love this - but without realising it I have fallen asleep

But then - I didn't get to sleep until sometime around 4.00am today which was not in my plans because of what I have to do today - but I told my doctor and he told me that I would get used to these tablets in time

But I understand your sleep plan and your need to have a programme about getting back to work - important that

But enjoy this afternoon - the sleep police don't need to know if we nap on a Sunday afternoon

Dec

Toby had fun running around with the other dog , sounds like he had fun @Zoe7, now for both of you to have a restful afternoon xx

like us , I organised a 70th birthday morning tea for my uncle today , there were 14 of us and still 9 of us stayed for lunch

ahhhhhh now home relaxing

Thank you @Teej - for thinking of me and for the heads-up on the other thread. I may give reading that a miss just now - very tired and I know it won't take much to send me over the edge again.

I am pleased you aren't feeling the same as I have been about the losses but not that you have had other things on your mind. I am really struggling but I suspect you are too - I hate feeling like this @Teej - so low that I feel like life has stopped again and there is no way out but I need to try to remember how far I had come and hold on to some of that until I get through this ...and I will get through this but it is bloody hard!!!

I think about you often Hon - and read how you are going but do not often let you know that - I feel you have such wonderful support from others and adding another voice may be too much for you - so I have taken a step back - that does not mean I don't care ....quite the opposite infact and I always wish that things could be better for you

Ditto @Zoe7. I often check in on you too and others. Don’t tell @utopia I’ve been following her story with lots of little fist bumps lately after a hard time.

Your story too. This year you have come so far. Keep remembering that. I know it’s so tough when the things that feel like they are holding us together aren’t there anymore. I’ve had years of this. But the truth is reading your story you’ve been the one that’s done the hard yards. You’ve coped with the hurt and found strength again when it seemed impossible. Sometimes it helps to see others start to find the light in all the dark. It has for me with you. Hang in there Zoe. Can’t wait to see what you choose as your semi colon tattoo. 💜🤗

You did a great job organising the morning tea @Shaz51 - your famiy are lucky to have you my sister.

@Owlunar @outlander I think Toby had fun - he was certainly excited to see us when we got back. It is also good for me too to know he can be left there for a little while and be okay. I know he was crying at the door when I first put him outside and he probably sat at the door the while time but he was okay when we returned and that is what is important.

@Owlunar I had a pretty bad night again so any sleep I can catch up on is preferable to not sleeping at all. I think a nap will be ok in regards to sleeping tonight - I am so tired I think I could sleep until tomorrow morning already lol

@Teej I have chosen a couple of designs that I am going to try to weave into one and that will be the tattoo I get. I am actually hoping to be awake enough this week to get it drawn and check out a couple of tattoo parlours in my area. There are 2 in particular that have great reviews but I know someone at the chemist who has great tattoos but don't know where she got them done - hopefully I can catch up with her tomorrow snd don't forget to ask her.

These are a couple of designs I really like...

Hi again @Zoe7 and @Teej

mmm - pets enjoying the company of other pets - I can see dogs playing together but not cats - mine is very territorial but in her old age she has a little friend - a little white cat with black patches - I see them sitting together sometimes and wonder if they have some way of having a bit of a chat in some telepathetic way

Sometimes we just have to sleep - one thing I really dislike is forcing myself to stay awake when all I want to do is doze off for a while - I used to fall asleep on the computer when I was sitting at the desk-top - it's harder to do with a lap-top - I kept thinking I could tidy up the sentence and rewrite what I had written so badly - but I could not do it - I would fall asleep again

I went to sleep at the Christmas Midnight Mass when I was in the choir one year - I was dropping off but thought it was okay if I closed my eyes and listened to the sermon - it made so much sense at the time - I was amazed - I had never heard such a great sermon -

And Bang - I fell forward and hit my head on the place where we had our music etc - golly what a terrible thing to do to the minister!!!!

So it does catch up with us - I guess I really don't have to worry about waking up to go to work or anything and I tend to make appointments in the afternoon

I have to move myself to catch a plane next week -

Teej

Great to see you and glad you check on people from time to time - I do this myself when I am out - using my phone - I can't possibly reply to everything I read but I think it's important that I read it

All the best

Dec