Am Not Coping

I kniw you are with me Hon and you kniw how grateful I am that you are @Faith-and-Hope Just seeing your name pop-up gives me a lift everytime - it all helps, especially when I am feeling this low.

I have been trying very hard today to get to a better place but it has seemed that everything I have tried has actually made me feel worse - so I gave up trying - maybe like you have said before I just need to let these feelings and emotions come out and hope that in doing so they hel me to heal a bit as well. This is always a tough time of year for me anyway so much like has happened before situations and events have created a perfect storm again - I now just want that storm to pass!

@Zoe7

Thinking of you 💜💙💜💙💜💜💜💙💜

Thank you sweet @Sans911 💜💜💜

How has your day been?

It will @Zoe7 ... and sometimes it just means bunkering down until it has, but keep updistractions nonetheless while you wait out the storm .... it’s splitting your attention to keep your mind from ruminating constantly, but you are “staying in the arena” as Brene Brown refers to it as.

❤️

👋💕 @Sans911 ....

@Faith-and-Hope Feels more like I am far from 'staying in the arena' right now but I do know what you mean and I just need to hang on around the edges and hopefully ease my way back inside. It is definitely not easy at present. Tomorrow is going to be hard to get through. My sister wanted to pick me up to go with her but I said I would drive myself - that way I can leave when it gets too much and don't have to hang around for long.

I will take Toby with me too - he can stay in the car when we are having coffee - it is going to be cold so he will be fine in there with his blanket and pillow to snuggle in with.

I know that is one of your strategies for managing @Zoe7 - taking your own car - and it’s a good one. Keep to your own boundaries and comfort level as much as you can, and remember deep breaths .... it makes a difference .....

❤️

Yeah I know deep breaths make a difference @Faith-and-Hope - getting good at that part when I am under stress and anxiety begins to build up. Not so good at listening to the same conversations about the same things all the time - that is something I really do struggle with when with the family - they talk about the horses all the time and I have absolutely no interest in the topic at all. It gets monotonous and I do struggle with staying present and not thinking about other things!

Evening @Zoe7

@Faith-and-Hope

I'm alright today. Went to a course about consumer representation and advocacy. It was really interesting except for the loud talker and American who kept referring to the American health system.

I'm just having dinner and playing Yahtzee with my uncle right now. He's a kind, gentle and funny person.

I also sold my car today, but they need to pay the balance and transfer paper have to be signed. I'll miss my car.

Are you getting a new car @Sans911?

Your Uncle sounds lovely - so nice to be having a quiet night with someone that is nice

It sounds like there were definitely some positives and negatives from the talk today but as long as the postiives outweighed the negatives we count that as a win - I know right now that both you and I need all the wins we can get Hon

To help deal with that “trapped” feeling in family situations @Zoe7, I used to try to think ahead and go with a bit of a plan for changing things, a little at a time.

Can you think of a different topic of conversation that you would like to talk about, and keep introducing while you’re there ? Gardening, for instance, and talk about the plants in the environment around where you are ? Or “notice” other people’s dogs, and then talk about dogs ..... maybe share some funny dog memes on your phone ? Be a little disruptive to the repeat conversations by branching off to something that interests you ? If you do that a little bit each time, even if it doesn’t take at first, it should begin to change.

That sounds like a lovely evening @Sans911 ....