Am Not Coping

Hi @Faith-and-Hope

I love Melbourne - I haven't been into the city for a long time now but there was a time that I went there every work day for years and I knew it well then

When I was studying Classical Civilization I realised that Melbourne was laid out on a grid like a Roman camp and thought there had to be other Roman architecture in the city and went into Melbourne to look for it and wow - there is was - the Melbourne Town Hall! - That is really appropriate

I love the Corinthian columns which are actually GreekJust looking at some pictures I realised what a lot of things there are to do in Melbourne and I live here - and I fly interstate to see other things - such is life - I think I will do some walking around Melbourne when the weather is better

Dec

Hi @Zoe7

The weather here turned really bleak again - I am glad I am going for my first trip to the tropics - it would be great to go sooner but I am sure I will enjoy it when the times comes all the more for enduring Melbourne and the circumpolar wind we are having here right now

I guess you have similar weather right now - aint it loverly

I need to go down to beautiful Bayside Mordialloc to see my agent and I am gradually getting myself up and dressed to go - late start - I went to bed early feeling generally achey and feel more achey today and if I don't feel better after a bath and won't brave the cold - the agent had no idea about the tour from Cairns to the top end of Cape York and so I am taking my brochure down for her to book it with my tour - I have an excited feeling about flying from the south end of the continent to the very north -

As a history buff I recall from school that the old explorers took a few horses - the better prepared took camels - and went for dangerous and sometimes desperate journeys into the outback - I like the thought of going comfortably and safely the whole way - maybe if I had started exploring Australia younger I might have taken a camel tour

I am so glad that when I was younger and before I gave up my licence because of my medication I drove all over Victoria and Tasmania - not having a licence is a major disadvantage in life really - I am thinking of trying for my licence again - I take less medication now and people with disabilities do drive - I don't think I am too old

I am feeling better than I was a couple of months back so I have started reaching out from home again - it's not always easy as you know and the cold weather makes it harder

And as this hotel has a pool with a beach I am getting myself some bathers - if I go to the tropics I have to swim there - and if I have bathers I might swim in Port Phillip Bay next summer - it's good to imagine plans - that's the only way to get them into practice - this is me talking myself into them - esp getting bathers

It's easier when something becomes a routine - that is a good idea to work on myself

Dec

This is me thinking up new habits

Joining the swim-club @Owlunar .... 😊💕

Buscuit anyone ..... ?

Finished DBT session for today and sitting in the car waiting for my pdoc appointment. I don't have time to drive home and back today as my appointment is at 2pm instead of 2.30 - so I am on here for a little while. I didn't sleep well again last night - I am more convinced that it is the decrease in one of my meds and maybe we need to increase it again - I would rather be tired throughout the day than back to not sleeping at night - going to discuss it with pdoc today.

@Faith-and-Hope love the butterfly biscuits and pleased to you got the pool today. Thank you for the image on the Craft thread - it really is beautiful - seems like you are combining your mediums really well and so glad you are able to use things from the art market - I wish I could get back there myself - maybe in time!

@Owlunar You definitely need to get dome bathers if there is a pool - and then maybe continue swimming when you return home. I find it beneficial keeping to the routine - yesterday was a struggle to make it to the pool and today was even harder to get to DBT - but I made it.

Well done @Zoe7 ..... I know it’s such a struggle when you’re low on sleep ..... just keep putting it all back together ..... keep swimming .... lol ..... literally ❣️

I feel like I am falling backwards again @Faith-and-Hope and that is not somewhere I want to be I fell asleep early last night but was awake at around 1.30 and then up again at 4.30 - I was sleeping through the night before we decreased on of my meds! I am too tired during the day again to be motivated to do anything and that concerns me more than feeling tired after sleeping throughout the night - I don't think we have the balance right yet - so maybe back to what it was when I was feeling a little better for now is the go!

I will let you know how my appointment goes and if anything changes. I also have to talk to her about the nightmares - they seem to have increased since taking this new med at night - maybe that needs to be changed again too ....frustrated atm!!!

Yes @Zoe7 .... so frustrating. I had noticed, but didn’t want to say much because I know it’s hard enough.

I am guessing that your system is highly reactive, so small changes can have big swings for you ....

Hang in there Hon. I hope you can get on top of it this week.

How did you go @Zoe7 ?

@Faith-and-Hope You are probably in a better position than anyone to know me and how I am going so please do not hold back when you see those changes in me - sometimes it takes others to voice their concerns to be able to recognise the slide before it happens.

I did speak to my pdoc - about the meds, nightmares and flashbacks. We didnt talk about the nightmares and flashbacks but I did mention the other night and where I think they are coming from - from what I watched and the lack of sleep. She has increased my usual med back to where it was previously and has increased my new med as well - that will likely go up again next week but we need to do it gradually because of side effects I seem to have with all meds! She sent me home early - she commented how tired I looked today ...I certainly feel as she stated! I am likely to have a few days now with increase in both meds where I am even more tired than I am now but if it helps me sleep throughout the night and hopefully reduce the nightmares then that is ok. Just a wait and see for a while again!

Sleep seems to be the most important factor @Zoe7 ..... so I hope that settles back into place from tonight.

💚💐💕