Am Not Coping

I will Hon.

It looks like there is no pre-requisite academic standing for her to go directly into the diploma, and short courses are available for a while yet, so this might be the way forward. It would be great for her to have time just doing art and enjoying it without a focus on assessment, and continue healing in th meantime.

That would be the best case scenario here I would think for her Hon. She is doing so well and has made great progress - hopefully you can both find something for her to do that helps her continue on that road and having something to focus on that doesn't require the pressure of assessment may be the way to go. The most important thing is that she doesn't get too disheartened about this setback and continues to move forward @Faith-and-Hope

That is definitely the greatest risk @Zoe7, but to get mr. f&h to calm down, some of what she is doing will need to be enrolled classes, which is where the short courses come in.

Well it isn't her fault hse wasn't accepted into this course @Faith-and-Hope and it is not like she was doing nothing - she found something she could get into and that didn't happen - he should go a little easy on her but we both know that won't happen - grrr!

Hopefully there is a short course she can do that will both be of interest to her and help her towards her goal for next year. Fingers crossed

How are you doing? How is your leg after the pool?

Rather than having a go at her, it is an over-zealous need to control that results in a constant overseeing, questioning, checking up, with an air of being director and a manner that demands answers ..... and lectures .... an extreme driving towards outcomes .... and has included fault-finding, although that part has generally eased off, especially as it wasn’t her fault in this case. He will be very frustrated that she wasn’t ready to apply earlier, which would probably have gotten her in.

Yes it may have gotten her in but she may not have been able to attend either as she was not ready - or capable - of doing so. That is one of the hardest things to deal with with depression - the expectations of others compared to what is actually achievable - I wish Mr. had some idea of the complexities of MI but I know that he has no idea - that is quite evident in his own lack of awareness of his own situation @Faith-and-Hope - and yet again you are left to pick up the pieces

It’s his whole family @Zoe7 .... and I am now guessing he developed the same mentality through their working life together, because he wasn’t like that when I met him, or through our early marriage ..... in hindsight I can see that the workaholism (identified now as OCD behaviour) masked the development of what we have got going on now ...., that the selling of our business tipped it all over into our family life ..... meaning that the family man we had before was probably the “foil” .... the contrasting counter-weight to all this aggression ..... and probably why he was so overweight. Now the “foil” is gone and we are left with the driven personality full-time, as though they couldn’t both exist in the same place or something ..... hard to comprehend.

Part of the PD is to set the bar really high, and the kids tend to have that expectation over themselves, which can also trigger depression .....

High expectations are so often hard to live up to - whether they be self-imposed or from external sources @Faith-and-Hope I have always had high expectations of myself but I think that is mostly because of the way I have been treated by others - so I can see exactly what you are talking about with Mr. and the effects that his behaviour has had on your family.

Time for me to log off and get ready for bed @Faith-and-Hope I hope everything works out for D3 tomorrow - will catch you later - love ya Hon

Goodnight @Zoe7 .... 💐💤

D3 has announced that she has appointments tomorrow, and will see about th uni stuff on Thursday .... which is very positive I think. Sounds like she is giving herself a break from worrying about it, now that there is a sketched-in plan to follow, and is taking charge of it .... 🎉

I am not available to come with her on Thursday, so she is opting out of my support, which means she has confidence in herself to do this.

Yay ❣️