Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

47,612Members
1,358,869Posts
1,400,000Visitors

Am Not Coping

Zoe7Senior Contributor26 Jan 2017, 5:39 pm AEDT

Am Not Coping

I am really not coping at the moment but this is entirely on ME!

This is a message for a few people on here @utopia @Former-Member @Faith-and-Hope @Former-Member

that I asked could be passed on but it seems that only part of it has been and I understand from the responses that have made it through my emails that I have caused untold distress for some people. I was not going to return because of what I felt I put people through but I especially wanted @utopia and @Former-Member to know that they were not wrong at the time and I was going through a real crisis period. You both held me together for longer than I could myself until the point where my own self-destructive thoughts overwhelmed me.

The entire message that I sent to SANE is below:

I have just viewed the multitude of emails and messages sent from forum members and members of the SANE team – as well as the text and voice message left on my phone.

I have not been able to communicate with anyone since the other night as I have been recovering from what ended up being an unsuccessful attempt to end the pain.

At the time I was in a very distressed state and I did want to stop the pain and all I seemed to achieve is to cause others pain and worry and that is the last thing I wanted to do – I just wanted to end mine and say goodbye to everyone beforehand so my future absence was explained. I should have realised that the message I posted would have concerned some people but I really was not in any state to think about the repercussions for others.

I am so sorry I caused so much distress to others – that is something I will have to hopefully try and live with.

I don’t believe after the concern and anxiety I caused to so many that I will ever be able to return to the forum.

Can someone from the SANE team please explain all this to all those involved and pass on my gratitude for their compassion, concerns and kind words throughout the time I have been part of the ‘forum family’.

Thank you and sorry again for the difficult position I put everyone in.

Zoe7

I do not want any responses from any of you. I just wanted to let you know exactly what has happened and let you know how truly sorry I am for hurting people I have come to think of as friends and family, and who I really care about.

Your support, advice and compassion are what make you all the wonderful people you are.

@utopia and @Former-Member I am so sorry that the trust you placed in me has now been broken because of my actions. I also felt that we had a stronger connection, especially over the last week, and you both helped me in ways I cannot even describe or explain. I was not pulling away from you two - just wanted to pull away from myself. I couldn't cope with my own feelings and no-one or nothing was actually going to be able to stop me at the time. It's now just another failure to add to my list of failures. I really don't know what else to say to you both but to reiterate my heartfelt 'sorry'.

38645 replies

26,141 - 26,150 of 38,645

1...2,614 2,615 2,616...3,865

In response to: Am Not Coping

OwlunarSenior Contributor16 July 2018, 7:26 pm AEST

Re: Am Not Coping

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh No @Zoe7

You had a wisdom tooth out!!!!! - oh my stars - that must have been a real event - I hope it wasn't impacted - antibiotics and pain killers I am sure - aw

I am sure there are better ways to pass the time - - I guess it will take a while for the nerve block to pass off - I am thinking of you my dear friend and I hope things improve soon

Dec

What an afternoon - ouch

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Zoe7Senior Contributor16 July 2018, 7:34 pm AEST

Re: Am Not Coping

Luckily there weren't too many dramas getting it out @Owlunar - it took a while but eventually came out without having the bone impacted so that was good news. I am starting to feel it now but have painkillers on board so they should take the edge off. I am going to have my night meds early and try to get some sleep tonight as I barely slept last night with the pain.

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

OwlunarSenior Contributor16 July 2018, 7:48 pm AEST

Re: Am Not Coping

I am so glad it wasn't impacted @Zoe7- I have had two of my wisdom teeth out - the anticipation was worse than the reality - I do remember - I still have two left on the right side and I need those two but mostly we don't need wisdom teeth

I hope the pain medication and the antibiotics and your sleepers etc all work together and get you some peace and some sleep and you must be tired by now

If you need pain killers during the night - don't wait - you can have them 4 hours apart and for some reason pain is always worse at night

I guess you will go to bed soon so I wish you a good night and hope things feel better in the morning

Dec

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Zoe7Senior Contributor16 July 2018, 7:55 pm AEST

Re: Am Not Coping

My night meds are taking a bit longer to take effect lately so might be here for a little while longer @Owlunar. Have you done some things for yourself today to help you get through it Dec?

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

OwlunarSenior Contributor16 July 2018, 8:12 pm AEST

Re: Am Not Coping

Hi @Zoe7

Yes - we do tend to get used to our different medications - I hope you can sleep soundly when you get there though - I'm pretty sure if your dentist gave you some tablets that I know what they are - I just hope it all works for you

I didn't plan much today - I took my time getting up and spent time on-line and then spent some times tlaking to my provider about a new contract which includes a new phone - I have had this one for 3.5 year so this is a treat. I am getting a USB connection for my computer as well - then I saw my doctor in the afternoon and sorted some podiatrist visits for my in-grown toe-nail and I was fortunate to have a really interesting chat with another patient who had to wait for my doctor too

I had brought a little sweet treat for dessert today - it had some strawberry jelly on top of white chocolate and some kind of biscuit - it was just little and just lovely - I normally wouldn't indulge but it was yummy

When I had wisdom teeth out - that was a long time ago - I don't really remember what I did after the first day - I know I freak out when I need an extraction - I was hoping you wouldn't need an extraction

And the day has passed

Sending my best thoughts

Dec

Nobody told us there'd be days like thisI had camelia bushes many years ago and one of them had flowers like this

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Zoe7Senior Contributor16 July 2018, 8:18 pm AEST

Re: Am Not Coping

Pain meds are definitely helping @Owlunar - I can feel them working lol Now just wait for my night meds and I think I will be in nighty night land earlier than anticipated