Am Not Coping

@Faith-and-Hope

Hoping to rest today @Zoe7

I had a shower and I am dressed before midday. That’s a bonus. Washing is on.

Yesterday I accidentally bumped into an ex friend. I tried to avoid her as I was feeling really vulnerable. But she called out to me. Asked, how are you? And hugged me. It was an awfully uncomfortable experience, as I hate it when people are fake.

It made me feel like :pile_of_poo:

Was hoping she’d say hi and keep walking.

So hard bumping into ex friends and family. Trying to move forward. Hard to when I still live in same town. Like I’ve said before, I’m not feeling strong enough to sell and move.

Just venting, as I’m still feeling vulnerable.

Cant stand fake people. Hard to be rude though. Might have to next time. Maybe say, gotta go.

People have been so hurtful and I’m trying to move forward.

What are are you up to today?

Paper mache sounds fun @Faith-and-Hope

💜💖

Back later @Zoe7 d is calling. 💜👋😘

I hate that too @Former-Member I have encountered a similar scenario with someone that is working at the pool I go to for hydrotherapy and it has made it really difficult for me to go there. This person is a parent of an ex student at the school I worked at and she made life very difficult for me for a while. But at the pool she was all smiles and wanted to talk - I just wanted to do my exercises and get out of there - that has been the main reason I haven't been back without my physio - I didn't want to run into her and have to put up with 'small talk' from someone I feel anxious around.

Great that you have showered and got dressed - I haven't managed either of those things yet I need to do some washing too - will get onto that soon.

I am watching House Rules that I recorded Wed night and then will attempt to clean the kitchen - a lot of housework that needs to be done but I can only do a little at a time - going to take meds to help me get through it - that is why I am putting it off for as long as I can - the closer to night time I take the meds the better it will be for me.

@Former-Member I have managed to eat lunch, clean up Toby's toys and put some washing on - that is enough for now - rest for awhile and try to tackle the kitchen later.

How are you doing?

Still here @Zoe7 Spending time with d. Not often she’s home all day. Would you believe we’re playing wii games 😂. Keep saying I will and never feel up to it. Felt it was time to have a go. It’s quite hilarious.

I won in the wii dancing lol.

Thats unfortunate about bumping into the lady lady at the pool. It sucks we have to go through these things.

I am reluctant to go out anywhere because of hurtful people around everywhere I go.

Understand totally. 💜😘

Now I’m sore and exhausted @Zoe7 Catch you later. 👋🌷🌸🦋

Playing wii games with D sounds like fun @Former-Member. I fell asleep for a little while but awake again now (obviously lol)

Take care of yourself

That’s good you had a nap @Zoe7 Did it help you feel better?

I want to find out about DBT, but haven’t felt up to reading about it. Brain gets too tired to read.

Are you finding it helpful?

Do you go to a group for it or individual appointment?

What’s for dinner tonight? Just had chicken satay veggies and rice.

💜💖

Hi @Former-Member The sleep didn't really help me much - still tired

DBT is a 2 hour group session followed by an appointment with my pdoc. I think the skills we go through will be helpful but I have just really started to be able to take it all in. For the first 8-10 weeks I couldn't cooncentrate for more than about 20 minutes - now I can nearly last the 2 hours (we do have a half hour break in between). Most weeks my pdoc and I need to revise quickly what we had just gone through in the group sessions (I have a 2 hour wait in between and I get very tired). I have been triggered a few times and we have had to discuss that and she has helped me to settle a little but it is never easy.

I have begun to make some connections there also and that is helping me feel more at ease in the sessions. There are challenges though - one of them is having to listen to others' stories, and although it is well facilitated (and done in a safe way by most) it can be hard to deal with.

I don't know what I am having for dinner tonight - maybe just some fruit - will think about that in a little while.