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Am Not Coping

Am Not Coping

I am really not coping at the moment but this is entirely on ME!

This is a message for a few people on here @utopia @Former-Member @Faith-and-Hope @Former-Member

that I asked could be passed on but it seems that only part of it has been and I understand from the responses that have made it through my emails that I have caused untold distress for some people. I was not going to return because of what I felt I put people through but I especially wanted @utopia and @Former-Member to know that they were not wrong at the time and I was going through a real crisis period. You both held me together for longer than I could myself until the point where my own self-destructive thoughts overwhelmed me.

The entire message that I sent to SANE is below:

I have just viewed the multitude of emails and messages sent from forum members and members of the SANE team – as well as the text and voice message left on my phone.

I have not been able to communicate with anyone since the other night as I have been recovering from what ended up being an unsuccessful attempt to end the pain.

At the time I was in a very distressed state and I did want to stop the pain and all I seemed to achieve is to cause others pain and worry and that is the last thing I wanted to do – I just wanted to end mine and say goodbye to everyone beforehand so my future absence was explained. I should have realised that the message I posted would have concerned some people but I really was not in any state to think about the repercussions for others.

I am so sorry I caused so much distress to others – that is something I will have to hopefully try and live with.

I don’t believe after the concern and anxiety I caused to so many that I will ever be able to return to the forum.

Can someone from the SANE team please explain all this to all those involved and pass on my gratitude for their compassion, concerns and kind words throughout the time I have been part of the ‘forum family’.

Thank you and sorry again for the difficult position I put everyone in.

Zoe7

I do not want any responses from any of you. I just wanted to let you know exactly what has happened and let you know how truly sorry I am for hurting people I have come to think of as friends and family, and who I really care about.

Your support, advice and compassion are what make you all the wonderful people you are.

@utopia and @Former-Member I am so sorry that the trust you placed in me has now been broken because of my actions. I also felt that we had a stronger connection, especially over the last week, and you both helped me in ways I cannot even describe or explain. I was not pulling away from you two - just wanted to pull away from myself. I couldn't cope with my own feelings and no-one or nothing was actually going to be able to stop me at the time. It's now just another failure to add to my list of failures. I really don't know what else to say to you both but to reiterate my heartfelt 'sorry'.

38645 replies

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In response to: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

It's so good living in a city @utopia

I have an IGA on the corner near me and it's open until 6.30 every evening including the weekends -

The pharmacy at the local shops closes at 5.30 but there is one of those big pharmacies a couple of km away is open 7 days a week until 9.00 pm - I think big supermarkets are open until midnight

AND - I have the news on and today Woolworths stop having single-use plastic bags - wow - I take my own cloth bags to the supermarket but when I do have so-called single-use plastic bags - well - I use them more than once - bin liners and bags for used cat litter -

Yeah - I know people are going to need bin liners -

And I think I interupted the conversation

Dec

It's so easy living in the big smoke

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

You didn't interupt anything @Owlunar - you added to the conversation

The closest Coles here is open 6am until Midnight but Woolworths is only 7am - 10pm

We did away with single use plastic bags several years ago - I end up having more bags than I need because I am forever forgetting them - sometimes I refuse to buy anymore and simply take the trolley to the car and 'dump' everything in the back then put it in bags when I get home to carry inside - I really need a trolley at home too lol

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

I used to have one of those clothesline trolleys @Zoe7, the one that takes a washing basket. Used it for all sorts of things, including bringing shopping in from the car. Used the pram for that too .... lol ..... especially the twin pram. Dumped the babies out into the playpen to trolley the shopping in in it ..... 😆

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

I haven't seen one of those clothesline trolleys for a long time @Faith-and-Hope - brings back memories of my Nan

Alas I do not have any prams but I could imagine Toby sitting in one while I wheeled him about and then using it for the groceries lol - Luckily it is a very short distance from my car to the door so I don't have far to go to bring things inside It does make it easier when I remember to take my bags though...

In response to: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

@Zoe7. I'm starting to feel nostalgic for the city. Maybe even missing all that late night shopping.

I must resist the urge.......

Today I drove right through my mountains. Up and across and down the other side.

A wallaby jumped across the road in front of my car - from one side of the forest to the other.

Cockies, Crimson Rosellas, Finches, - so many different birds.

Then saw a Kookaburra sitting serenely on a wire.

Saw snow capped mountains, creeks full of water flowing freely, eucalyptus trees.

Then add in the smells of the Bush. Fresh air. Sunshine.

Yep, I'm definitely living in the right place.

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

That sounds so lovely @utopia I can picture every single bit of it. I was brought up in more of a country area and I think the thing I like most about the city is the anonymity - I somehow feel safer surrounded by houses. I do live in a pretty quiet street but am not far from main roads either - it is a lovely central area to most things. That is the great thing about Hobart though - you are never far from anything whether it be time on the beach with Toby or a walk in the wilderness - just a great place to live!

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

That description does sound lovely @utopia .....

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Hi girls,

I'm needing some support and feedback if you could help me.

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

what's up @oceangirl?

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

@Faith-and-Hope only 2 more sleeps for you Hon - are you getting excited or nervous?

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