Am Not Coping

Strawberries and cream @Zoe7 ..... 🤗💕

Now you are just teasing me @Faith-and-Hope

My afternoon is now complete @Faith-and-Hope - soup for lunch and pancackes with strawberries and cream for afternoon tea - what a great way to spend a Saturday

@Faith-and-Hope

🤗💕 @Zoe7 .....

How are you doing ?

Sore but managing @Faith-and-Hope - spent all afternoon laying down - watching sport mostly - have the NRL on now - Parramatta is winning so far for a change - yea!

How are you doing Hon?

I still have a notification feed from the sports thread, so I could see you there and I loved seeing that you were on it and relaxing ❣️

I am feeling exhausted again tonight, but still with good reason .... backwash from the relief of seeing safety nets swung under my kids, and then this afternoon something else .....

Mr.F&H opened a conversation by what was probably a passing comment, thinking aloud. He said that the recent celebrities who have taken their lives over mental health issues was a real eye opener. He didn’t mention the mental health issues part untiI I asked him for clarification .... was that what he meant ?

He said yes, and that it helped to put the kids (our kids) struggles into perspective, that it wasn’t just about giving them a swift kick in the pants for being lazy ..... that that is not what it’s about and they are not being lazy, he could see that now, and he had been of that opinion before .....

It was clearly a defining moment for him ..... rather than admitting he had been wrong, it was more a Eureka moment that was tumbling out of his mouth as it was processing mentally.

i am wondering whether he can see his family landscape from here and realise that that was the parenting approach used on him, and how that might have affected him, or whether that is too big a step forward yet ..... but OMG ..... it’s a massive breakthrough.

I then went on to say that there is still way too much stigma around mental health issues, and it really shouldn’t be that way. When we are physically ill we see specialists for treatment .... it should be that normal to seek mental and emotional support and treatment for mental and emotional issues.

I am wondering whether this will have him considering why I have been seeing a psychologist. I think he is under the mistaken impression that I was referred to one by the doctor without asking for that referral. I had asked for a referral.

Maybe ..... just maybe ..... he might start considering whether he ought to ask to see someone. He has been joking for some time that they haven’t written the book for him yet ..... something inside him must be recognising that he is not well.

So ..... I think this is why I am exhausted this evening. It’s been a big day in a big week, and I feel like crying from the emotion of it all .... so I probably will .....

oh wow, wow, wow @Faith-and-Hope massive breakthroughs with Mr F&H.

No wonder you are tired and emotional - it must feel like years of strain are finally able to be released just a little with these revelations. You definitely have had a HUGE week and today is just as HUGE. I might even cry with you - maybe what you have been waiting for for so long is finally happening - that Mr. will give the kids a break and help support them now as well as some insight into his own behaviours.

Hugs and hugs and hugs Hon

He has been quiet for some weeks now @Zoe7. By that I mean not reactive under circumstances with the kids where I would have expected him to be, like he has been sitting on his hands and waiting to see what I would do and what the outcome would be ..... like with S2 just now, contacting his head of course before leaving to come back here.

I think the effects of his Raynaud’s Syndrome are significantly worse this winter already, and it’s not even truly winter yet ..... so that might be scaring him. It’s scaring me. I texted him after he and S2 left today to go back east and asked him to check it again with the dr (a new dr = second opinion) if it continues to get worse, which tells him that I have noticed it’s getting worse.

He has also broken another tooth - a front incisor - which is now obvious when he talks or smiles.

These are all signs of an ED if you are looking for them and can join the dots.

All little signs that are progressively showing up and playing on his mind perhaps @Faith-and-Hope - just need the doctor to begin joining the dots - I can certainly see why these things are scaring you.

How long are you in the west for this trip?