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Am Not Coping

Am Not Coping

I am really not coping at the moment but this is entirely on ME!

This is a message for a few people on here @utopia @Former-Member @Faith-and-Hope @Former-Member

that I asked could be passed on but it seems that only part of it has been and I understand from the responses that have made it through my emails that I have caused untold distress for some people. I was not going to return because of what I felt I put people through but I especially wanted @utopia and @Former-Member to know that they were not wrong at the time and I was going through a real crisis period. You both held me together for longer than I could myself until the point where my own self-destructive thoughts overwhelmed me.

The entire message that I sent to SANE is below:

I have just viewed the multitude of emails and messages sent from forum members and members of the SANE team – as well as the text and voice message left on my phone.

I have not been able to communicate with anyone since the other night as I have been recovering from what ended up being an unsuccessful attempt to end the pain.

At the time I was in a very distressed state and I did want to stop the pain and all I seemed to achieve is to cause others pain and worry and that is the last thing I wanted to do – I just wanted to end mine and say goodbye to everyone beforehand so my future absence was explained. I should have realised that the message I posted would have concerned some people but I really was not in any state to think about the repercussions for others.

I am so sorry I caused so much distress to others – that is something I will have to hopefully try and live with.

I don’t believe after the concern and anxiety I caused to so many that I will ever be able to return to the forum.

Can someone from the SANE team please explain all this to all those involved and pass on my gratitude for their compassion, concerns and kind words throughout the time I have been part of the ‘forum family’.

Thank you and sorry again for the difficult position I put everyone in.

Zoe7

I do not want any responses from any of you. I just wanted to let you know exactly what has happened and let you know how truly sorry I am for hurting people I have come to think of as friends and family, and who I really care about.

Your support, advice and compassion are what make you all the wonderful people you are.

@utopia and @Former-Member I am so sorry that the trust you placed in me has now been broken because of my actions. I also felt that we had a stronger connection, especially over the last week, and you both helped me in ways I cannot even describe or explain. I was not pulling away from you two - just wanted to pull away from myself. I couldn't cope with my own feelings and no-one or nothing was actually going to be able to stop me at the time. It's now just another failure to add to my list of failures. I really don't know what else to say to you both but to reiterate my heartfelt 'sorry'.

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In response to: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Here for you too @Zoe7 ..... ❤️💕

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Thanks @utopia @Faith-and-Hope

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

@utopia @Faith-and-Hope

It is staring to get dark (looks like the rain is not far away) and it is very windy. You both know what effect the wind has on me and it definitely is a massive trigger to just add to what I am already dealing with. I'm not sure how this night is going to go but I do know it is going to be really long and very hard. I know I am generally in a much better place than I have been previously but this is so hard. After my session yesterday I really am left wondering if I am ever going to get past this - I'm really not sure if it is possible.

In response to: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

I will stay up painting tonight @Zoe7 and send you update photos .... available to chat as I do .....

I had a rough passage with WH this morning and am leaky now .... got the problem sorted but still a bit shaky in the aftermath .... so you can walk along with me as I walk along with you, if you're up to it ....

❤️💕

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

@Faith-and-Hope You can tell me what happened if you want to - if you don't that's ok!

We can walk together tonight as long as I can put up with the pain - I don't want to take too many painkillers now because I know that when I sleep like this and wake up drowsy then that is when I can take more meds than I should - I don't have many in the house atm but enough to be right on the edge. I don't want to be in that place again and I don't want to keep feeling this pain. It really sucks!!!

In response to: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

@Zoe7. It could be a night to have the music softly playing - & maybe you can focus on that.
Fingers crossed the rain is louder than the wind.
Do you play solitaire - with cards or on the computer? I often get so absorbed in solitaire - that hours will go by without me being aware.

In response to: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Let's see how we go @Zoe7 and just ate it one step at a time .... and as @utopia suggested, bring all your self-care coping box stuff along too ....

Feeding baby dragons at the moment .... late lunch / early dinner - while WH is away we will play sort of thing - but then I'm going to stake a time out and I will tell you what happened ....

The sting has gone out of it now, so it becomes just another story after that, part of our bigger story .....

💜

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

@utopia No noise at the moment - head hurts too much. Can't even see the keyboard or screen properly so touch typing - I hope without too many mistakes. The wind has stopped so that has given me a little relief but it has still added more to my already packed mind. I can't seem to separate out my thoughts atm - they are just jumbling up into one big puzzle, with so many pieces, I don't know where to start.

Every time we start dealing with this 'stuff' it just makes me feel like I am going backwards again. I really don't know what to do! If I don't try and deal with it I will never sleep properly - but in trying to deal with it I feel like I take so many steps backwards and I don't want to do it anymore. I honestly do not know how many more times I can relive this without it finally being too much. I generally just feel afterwards like I wish I had not woken up at all and then I wouldn't have to go through this again and again.

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

@Zoe7 .... your therapist obviously believes that you can and will recover, and that is not based on the toss of a dice ..... she will be seeing signs that it is right for you, and that it can / will / is working ....

She can see you not having to deal with it any more for reasons of being recovered .....

Maybe it will help to ask her to explain to you what she sees and why she believes this is the right way forward for you .....

❤️💕

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Hi @Zoe7

I was just looking over your safety plan and I thought I would post some of the strategies you have come up with in the past that you might want to use now. They are:

- Cuddling Toby
- 5 things you can touch or feel activity
- Sit outside in a corner of the garden (this might not be a good idea tonight)
- Watch Mrs Brown’s Boys
- Watch Liverpool TV or other sport
- bubbles
- Writing - identify an emotion you can write about

Would picking one or more of these strategies help you get through?

We can work hour by hour if it's helpful to break it down into blocks of time?
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