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Am Not Coping

Am Not Coping

I am really not coping at the moment but this is entirely on ME!

This is a message for a few people on here @utopia @Former-Member @Faith-and-Hope @Former-Member

that I asked could be passed on but it seems that only part of it has been and I understand from the responses that have made it through my emails that I have caused untold distress for some people. I was not going to return because of what I felt I put people through but I especially wanted @utopia and @Former-Member to know that they were not wrong at the time and I was going through a real crisis period. You both held me together for longer than I could myself until the point where my own self-destructive thoughts overwhelmed me.

The entire message that I sent to SANE is below:

I have just viewed the multitude of emails and messages sent from forum members and members of the SANE team – as well as the text and voice message left on my phone.

I have not been able to communicate with anyone since the other night as I have been recovering from what ended up being an unsuccessful attempt to end the pain.

At the time I was in a very distressed state and I did want to stop the pain and all I seemed to achieve is to cause others pain and worry and that is the last thing I wanted to do – I just wanted to end mine and say goodbye to everyone beforehand so my future absence was explained. I should have realised that the message I posted would have concerned some people but I really was not in any state to think about the repercussions for others.

I am so sorry I caused so much distress to others – that is something I will have to hopefully try and live with.

I don’t believe after the concern and anxiety I caused to so many that I will ever be able to return to the forum.

Can someone from the SANE team please explain all this to all those involved and pass on my gratitude for their compassion, concerns and kind words throughout the time I have been part of the ‘forum family’.

Thank you and sorry again for the difficult position I put everyone in.

Zoe7

I do not want any responses from any of you. I just wanted to let you know exactly what has happened and let you know how truly sorry I am for hurting people I have come to think of as friends and family, and who I really care about.

Your support, advice and compassion are what make you all the wonderful people you are.

@utopia and @Former-Member I am so sorry that the trust you placed in me has now been broken because of my actions. I also felt that we had a stronger connection, especially over the last week, and you both helped me in ways I cannot even describe or explain. I was not pulling away from you two - just wanted to pull away from myself. I couldn't cope with my own feelings and no-one or nothing was actually going to be able to stop me at the time. It's now just another failure to add to my list of failures. I really don't know what else to say to you both but to reiterate my heartfelt 'sorry'.

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In response to: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping


@Zoe7 wrote:

Hey @utopia ... do you think that @Phoenix_Rising is secretly watching on a mini tv under her blanket? lol


{Contemplates some things that are more probable than the idea that Phoenix would be watching MaFS; the moon will fall out of the sky tonight, the Earth is flat, gravity doesn't exist, tomorrow the sun will rise in the west...}

In response to: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

@Zoe7. boring couple. It will be her opinionated date that will be interesting to watch. He should have been early and not stress her out any further. She needs to stop worrying. They both need to talk together more.

Simon and Aleni. Seriously. I love this couple. She is wonderful for him. He is great for her. I so want to see them succeed.

@Phoenix_Rising - any brain cells are good. Can't be too fussy when we are running low. lol

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

OMG @Phoenix_Rising I am on the floor again

Guess what you have done to me - I am starting to add SUPER into my sentences - you are such a super bad influence...

@utopia

Her Dad is right - he could have put a bit more effort in to show some respect!

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

{Produces photographic evidence of popcorn in microwave. Glad to have thought of taking photo in anticipation of being challenged. Realises that @Zoe7 and @utopia have no idea how loudly they are both yelling at the tv and thus didn't hear the popcorn popping.}

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

I just had a little accident laughing at @Phoenix_Rising so much ...

@utopia The dinner party is going to be interesting... will Nadia finally tell 4-letter word what she really thinks of him... ???

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

OMG!!!! @Zoe7. The dad from hell. My dad would look like a timid cat next to Cheryls dad. Poor bloke.

Next week. Annoying Anthony the Narcisist. But he's still at the dinner. Still commenting on everyone else (as are we -but we are entitled to), and she still hasn't got rid of him yet..

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Not next week my little Cocky friend - tomorrow night..... @utopia

I wonder if @Phoenix_Rising will make it too or if she would rather brave the waves lol

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

{Feels amused that @Zoe7 has picked up the word "super." Is well aware that this is a special word for Phoenix_Rising and @Zoe7 is certainly not the first person who has been corrupted by her constant use of it. Wonders if she should warn @Zoe7 that Phoenix_Rising has also been known to sensitize people to turtles and anything to do with Finding Nemo. Figures there's no need to tell her - she'll realise she's seeing turtles and Finding Nemo merchandise every time she goes anywhere soon enough...}

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

@Zoe7. can't disagree with you more. He wore a clean ironed tshirt and shorts. It's hot and they were going to the Sunshine Coast - where it's warmer than the Gold Coast. And he was better dresssed than she was. The dad is just a nasty opinionated person.

Oh, now I really wish Cheryl had have brought Anthony home to meet her dad. Lol. Oh that would be hillarious to watch. I'd even pay money to see that. Ring side seats for all.

Zoe, don't believe what @Phoenix_Rising is saying. If it's not a tv, then she is watching it on her mobile device. Very sneaky.

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping


@Zoe7 wrote:

I just had a little accident laughing at @Phoenix_Rising so much ...


{Looks around for bucket from last night, to hand to @Zoe7}.

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