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Am Not Coping

Am Not Coping

I am really not coping at the moment but this is entirely on ME!

This is a message for a few people on here @utopia @Former-Member @Faith-and-Hope @Former-Member

that I asked could be passed on but it seems that only part of it has been and I understand from the responses that have made it through my emails that I have caused untold distress for some people. I was not going to return because of what I felt I put people through but I especially wanted @utopia and @Former-Member to know that they were not wrong at the time and I was going through a real crisis period. You both held me together for longer than I could myself until the point where my own self-destructive thoughts overwhelmed me.

The entire message that I sent to SANE is below:

I have just viewed the multitude of emails and messages sent from forum members and members of the SANE team – as well as the text and voice message left on my phone.

I have not been able to communicate with anyone since the other night as I have been recovering from what ended up being an unsuccessful attempt to end the pain.

At the time I was in a very distressed state and I did want to stop the pain and all I seemed to achieve is to cause others pain and worry and that is the last thing I wanted to do – I just wanted to end mine and say goodbye to everyone beforehand so my future absence was explained. I should have realised that the message I posted would have concerned some people but I really was not in any state to think about the repercussions for others.

I am so sorry I caused so much distress to others – that is something I will have to hopefully try and live with.

I don’t believe after the concern and anxiety I caused to so many that I will ever be able to return to the forum.

Can someone from the SANE team please explain all this to all those involved and pass on my gratitude for their compassion, concerns and kind words throughout the time I have been part of the ‘forum family’.

Thank you and sorry again for the difficult position I put everyone in.

Zoe7

I do not want any responses from any of you. I just wanted to let you know exactly what has happened and let you know how truly sorry I am for hurting people I have come to think of as friends and family, and who I really care about.

Your support, advice and compassion are what make you all the wonderful people you are.

@utopia and @Former-Member I am so sorry that the trust you placed in me has now been broken because of my actions. I also felt that we had a stronger connection, especially over the last week, and you both helped me in ways I cannot even describe or explain. I was not pulling away from you two - just wanted to pull away from myself. I couldn't cope with my own feelings and no-one or nothing was actually going to be able to stop me at the time. It's now just another failure to add to my list of failures. I really don't know what else to say to you both but to reiterate my heartfelt 'sorry'.

38645 replies

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In response to: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

long story- short

when were younger and we had to be around dad abuse and be abused .....none of his family stepped in to help us. even thought they could see what was happening. not one stepped in to help because they scared of my dad. so i have my dad of the family who i dont really keep in contact but i have so many question to ask each and every one of them about why they just left us in the abusive house and why they didnt do anything. i know it was because of dad. but they could have done something.

so thats were my head it at. i have un answered questions that i want to ask her before she dies.

my mum has no family over here, they are all in the UK. so its always been about dads side of the family

hope that make some kind of sence . @Zoe7

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

It does make sense @Bubbles3 - just going to feed my babies and be right back

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Back now @Bubbles3 (obviously lol)

As i have alread said Bubbly Boo - it all makes complete sense!

It is natural that you want answers but in 'situations' like this there sometimes isn't answers. Often people will not 'step in' because they are also fearful of the consequences. I know that does not help you but it would not be uncommon for those people to also have regrets down the track that they didn't do something to help. The awful tihng about those that abuse people is that their 'control' often extends way past those in the direct line of the abuse - it affects everyone 'around' the situation as well to varying degrees - and it then becomes an extension of that abuse that is felt more indirectly by others close to the situation/family dynamic.

I think you have a very hard decision to make here @Bubbles3 - that is: will you find the answers you are searching for from your Aunty or will the question itself cause her more pain in her present condition? Only you can determine what is right for you - and infact - what you can 'live with'. This is a very tricky situation for you and I cannot even imagine how hard this is. What I can offer is an ear (eyes) for you here to talk it through and listen when I can.

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

thanks @Zoe7

i have just sent a message on FB. i hope she gets it. asking if she would like to see me and meet my kids. so i dont know how that will goes. hopefully she want to see me @Zoe7

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

I hope she gets your message and replies too @Bubbles3. Maybe don't say anything to the kids just yet until you know a little more about her situtation though - just in case she doesn't get your message as you don't really know how she is dealing with all this herself (if that makes sense!)

You are very brave to send a message Bubbly Boo - very proud of you

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

thanks @Zoe7

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

@Zoe7

the kids dont know her. she has never met my kids before . thats how long its been since i have seen her

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

@Bubbles3

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Hey Bubbly Boo @Bubbles3 I am going to log off for a little while but will come back on a bit later. Give Gizmo a kiss for me (butterfly and bird kisses - I am laughing at myself now!)

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

hello @Zoe7, @Bubbles3

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