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Am Not Coping

Am Not Coping

I am really not coping at the moment but this is entirely on ME!

This is a message for a few people on here @utopia @Former-Member @Faith-and-Hope @Former-Member

that I asked could be passed on but it seems that only part of it has been and I understand from the responses that have made it through my emails that I have caused untold distress for some people. I was not going to return because of what I felt I put people through but I especially wanted @utopia and @Former-Member to know that they were not wrong at the time and I was going through a real crisis period. You both held me together for longer than I could myself until the point where my own self-destructive thoughts overwhelmed me.

The entire message that I sent to SANE is below:

I have just viewed the multitude of emails and messages sent from forum members and members of the SANE team – as well as the text and voice message left on my phone.

I have not been able to communicate with anyone since the other night as I have been recovering from what ended up being an unsuccessful attempt to end the pain.

At the time I was in a very distressed state and I did want to stop the pain and all I seemed to achieve is to cause others pain and worry and that is the last thing I wanted to do – I just wanted to end mine and say goodbye to everyone beforehand so my future absence was explained. I should have realised that the message I posted would have concerned some people but I really was not in any state to think about the repercussions for others.

I am so sorry I caused so much distress to others – that is something I will have to hopefully try and live with.

I don’t believe after the concern and anxiety I caused to so many that I will ever be able to return to the forum.

Can someone from the SANE team please explain all this to all those involved and pass on my gratitude for their compassion, concerns and kind words throughout the time I have been part of the ‘forum family’.

Thank you and sorry again for the difficult position I put everyone in.

Zoe7

I do not want any responses from any of you. I just wanted to let you know exactly what has happened and let you know how truly sorry I am for hurting people I have come to think of as friends and family, and who I really care about.

Your support, advice and compassion are what make you all the wonderful people you are.

@utopia and @Former-Member I am so sorry that the trust you placed in me has now been broken because of my actions. I also felt that we had a stronger connection, especially over the last week, and you both helped me in ways I cannot even describe or explain. I was not pulling away from you two - just wanted to pull away from myself. I couldn't cope with my own feelings and no-one or nothing was actually going to be able to stop me at the time. It's now just another failure to add to my list of failures. I really don't know what else to say to you both but to reiterate my heartfelt 'sorry'.

38645 replies

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In response to: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

nah i cant @Former-Member

i have no excuse. she will get the shits on if i do that. i have to stay here. plus i have nowhere to go anyway

In response to: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

hi @Zoe7
how are you today

In response to: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

my husband does not like me on here either @Bubbles3

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

@Bubbles3 Hi Bubbly Boo and everyone else

I have a suggestion @Bubbles3 - something I have been doing lately with my own sister and it seems to be working for me to reduce the stress when I see her. I initiate a discussion on something that she is really in to (eg. her garden) - that then takes the focus away from whatever 'dramas' are happening for her and her partner and I don't get stuck in the middle. It also helps to re-focus her attention away from her 'issues'.

It doesn't have to be something big - just asking her a question like "how is your garden looking?" is enough to start a conversation and instantly I feel the anticipated stress that usually comes with seeing her lessen.

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

I love that idea @Zoe7😁😁😁

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

I am definitely the 'odd one out' here - no husband/partner to answer to - I believe that may be a win for me today (ps I do expect to get a hard time by all of you now lol)

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

i do try to do that @Zoe7.
mostly we talk about the kids
i just she isnt here for to long
its just so stressful when she is here coz we have nothing in common. we have been like this since we were like 14 years old. its been a very hard life

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

my husband does not like me on here either @Former-Member xx

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Yep @Bubbles3 get it - similar with me and my sister.

It has taken me alot of 'practice', some walking away and 'kicking her out' - and alot of standing up for myself and telling her when I cant 'deal with' her sh*te. But the effort (and pain) has been worth it - we have much more times now when we can actually be together (it does help having our dogs play together).

Start of with something really small - talking about the kids is perfect - maybe ask straight out what they have been up to - shows her you are interested and is a positive to start with.

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

not at all my sister @Zoe7

I was single for 43 years before getting married

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