Am Not Coping

@Faith-and-Hope and @utopia thankyou both so much for holding my hands. I had a very long wait (nearly 3 hours) and it made so much difference to see your messages. Couldn't respond - I know you will both understand but home now.

I had a fantastic nurse who put me in a spare consultation room away from everyone else and she stayed with me when I had to see the dr and anaesthetist. My sister came in with me initially - told her to just drop me off but she came anyway. I finally stopped the nurse asking questions and told my sister to leave - which she did. I couldn't cope with questions from her and the nurse and my own head all at once - and definitely could not cope with having to 'talk' with her there. I was extremely anxious but settled a little when she left. I stayed in the room until they were ready for me instead of sitting in the waiting area with everyone else. I cannot speak more highly of how well they 'looked after' me. The doctor didn't want the nurse to stay when he first saw me but she insisted and I was so grateful that she 'had my back' because I was already shaking and wanted to leave.

I am really tired, a little uncomfortable, sore and mild headache but ok otherwise. I can't have my normal meds tonight which is going to be an 'issue' so Couch Island with Toby and hope for at least some sleep.

Hope you are both doing ok - thankyou so much for your support

Hello also to @Shaz51 @oceangirl

It's sooo good to see you @Zoe7, and even better to hear how well looked after you were ..... that is awesome ❣️

I will let you rest, but I am around ....

Others are too. From what they have said here and there, there are a lot of people who are thinking about you, and supporting you at a distance with lots of special wishes .... but are holding back so as to not crowd you, because that is important for you right now ....

Hugs n hugs .....

Well done -

I'm so glad that's all over @Zoe7

It's great that the nurse had your back

It was a big deal - I have an idea that if they gave you sedation during the day it might be easier to sleep - I hope so

I do wish you the best tonight and with the results -

Dec

@Owlunar already have the results. The good news is everything is 'normal', the bad news is we still have no definite answers for the pain. We already know the lower pain is IBS and it seems that the higher stomach pain is most likely due predominantly to 'stress'. So we are back where we started with mental and physical pain 'feeding off' each other - and not being able to get either one under control as yet. I am feeling really upset (not that I wanted anything to be wrong but I certainly was hoping for something that could be 'fixed' easily). I have held on the best I can with all the pain - hoping to finally get some answers and help to 'fix' it - and to know now that this will continue to be such a struggle is demoralising.

@Faith-and-Hope @utopia and everyone else (sorry I know there are alot of people out there supporting me I just don't have the 'energy' to tag you all in). I really want to stay connected here tonight but I think there is a high probability that I will be easily triggered - and I am in a bad enough place atm already. I also don't want to offend anyone by not responding to them - I just don't have it in me. I am still completely lost being here and haven't been able to talk to anyone about it as yet. I will try to check in when I can. Even if I am not here I know you are with me and that is what I am holding onto tonight

Tagging you into the light @Zoe7 .... 💚💕

@Zoe7

It would have been so great if they have found an ulcer or something - but stress - we all have that at times - enough to understand a little - however in your case you do have IBS and severe stress and having stress feeding of the IBS and vv - so difficult and this so much of a struggle

You are in my thoughts

Gentle hugs:heart

Dec

yep @Owlunar - not sure at all where to go from here. Today pretty much squashed any semblance of hope I had left - I just don't know now