Am Not Coping

Rooky mistake @Faith-and-Hope - always measure top, bottom and middle - there are always variations, even slight ones from when first built with movements and contracting/expanding! How hard is it to miss skirting boards?? argh!

Yes I am avoiding tv - even dvds that I have seen before. Trying to avoid all noise too - a bit jumpy still today. It really seems like Everything is triggering atm ad there is too much uncertainty with tv. I don't even feel like putting on Liverpool TV just to be certain I won't be confronted with anything unexpectedly.

I do need to go out at some stage today to get more food for my babies. I was too tired yesterday after GP appointment so was planning on going early this morning - until the 'dramas' of yesterday and last night unfolded. I also need to be very quick so I am here when the heat pump man comes - and that is another worry for me. He is a good guy and I do know him quite well but my fears are very heightened today and just having someone in the house is going to be hard.

...and you can 'dummy spit' whenever you need to Hon

Hi @Zoe7

I have a hot/cold Air Conditioner and it has two large components - the smaller in the lounge where the hot or cold air comes out and the fan in the court yard behind my unit - so I am guessing you fell onto the fan-component which would be kinda hard on you and and the air-pump

If it's okay - how did that happen?

My unit can get icy - perhaps not a bad as in Southern Tasmania where it snows - I have been to Hobart in winter - shivers - yes - I know - but my place

It's built on a concrete slab and is the the southern part of a pair of units. The one next door is empty and has been every since I moved here - much longer actually - and so there is no warmth coming through the wall cavity and the sun never shines on the northern wall or roof of my place - and it get's icy in here. I leave the A/C on all the time in summer and winter and when I got back from Canberra last year the place felt like a crypt and it took days to warm it up again - and it broke down once and it took ages to get it fixed - yes - this was cold so I can only imagine the frigidity of your situation -

Brrrrrrrrrrrr - it gives me the horrors actually and I really wish I could fly you over here where although cold outside it's warmer generally,

I could give you a comfy chair, bring warm soup, make yummy cookies - it takes me about 20 minutes to do that - hassle up something warm to eat that would not bother your tumtum and give you access to my books, movies, larder - whatever

Aw - I wish I could - it would make me feel so much better

Also I would be so glad to remove your feelings of hopelessness but I also know the combined effects of physical and emotional pain bouncing off each other and I know that's something horrific and only time can get past that if time can -

Take it easy - I hope your A/C is soon repaired and the warmer weather comess - I have been in Launceston in Ocotober twice at least - it was mild and pleasant - I hope this happens - the weather I mean -

I hate the cold too

Dec

To be honest @Faith-and-Hope - I often wonder how much of WH's stuff is MI and how much is bad behaviour because running off when there is something important to be done like with your fridge - uh uh - this does not sound good to me - and when he speaks badly of your in front of your kids -

I do feel rather anxious for your sake and please - yes - dummy spit if you have to and as often as you need to

Your life does sound like a dragon of a puzzle and I know you have thought out what you are doing and this is a long range plan but still - I really wonder how you do it

Still sending faith and hope and prayers and hoping each day that the light will eventually get to WH

All the best

Dec

I have an idea of what type of business you ran - but I will keep that to myself @Faith-and-Hope (not from you - just from everyone else )

I tend not to like any noise at all when I am feeling like this - atm my ears are sore and I have a headache so noise will make it worse. Just sitting with little Toblerone and my 'puter and doing what I can to get through.

@Owlunar I wish I could be transported straight to you or to @Faith-and-Hope right now. I could definitely do with some 'looking after'. I have always been so independent but I am really not coping well atm - so to even consider that I would accept help from someone is pretty huge for me.

It was the inside unit @Owlunar I took the front off to clean the filters and as I stood up I got dizzy and fell slightly. I stood up too quickly (my fault) then as I stumbled a little I tripped on the cover and fell straight into the open unit. The force bent it slightly and as it was moved back into position that is when the leak started - all completely my fault!

I just had a call from my mother and as usual it was all about her. I said to her yesterday that I wasn't stupid and she didn't have to tell me what I should do (had already done what she stated anyway) and she was the one that got upset! She did the same just now and I ended the conversation really quickly. I hate that she makes me feel so bad and it can happen in an instant - then I am the one that has done something wrong.

I am going to log off for a while @Faith-and-Hope and @Owlunar - can't keep connected here just now - not up to it. Will try to check in later with both of you.

@Faith-and-Hope Hi how are you today

I hope everything is going okay at home @Faith-and-Hope - no new walkways where there used to be walls and the fridge isn't upside down lol

I have settled a bit more for now but still waiting for 'heat pump man'. Have liverpool tv on (sound turned off still) - think I have seen most of the documentaries several times so probably don't even need the sound on lol

I did eat but it has not gone down well Stomach very sore. The hospital rang a little while ago so now booked in for Gastroscopy and colonoscopy in 3 weeks (more money - but GP wants it done ASAP as the medication isn't having any effect now). Just another thing to worry about - my physical health has deteriorated so much and it really is having such an effect on me emotionally. I cannot say whether being physically or emotionally unwell is worse as they both feed into each other. Something really has to give soon - one way or another!