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Am Not Coping

Am Not Coping

I am really not coping at the moment but this is entirely on ME!

This is a message for a few people on here @utopia @Former-Member @Faith-and-Hope @Former-Member

that I asked could be passed on but it seems that only part of it has been and I understand from the responses that have made it through my emails that I have caused untold distress for some people. I was not going to return because of what I felt I put people through but I especially wanted @utopia and @Former-Member to know that they were not wrong at the time and I was going through a real crisis period. You both held me together for longer than I could myself until the point where my own self-destructive thoughts overwhelmed me.

The entire message that I sent to SANE is below:

I have just viewed the multitude of emails and messages sent from forum members and members of the SANE team – as well as the text and voice message left on my phone.

I have not been able to communicate with anyone since the other night as I have been recovering from what ended up being an unsuccessful attempt to end the pain.

At the time I was in a very distressed state and I did want to stop the pain and all I seemed to achieve is to cause others pain and worry and that is the last thing I wanted to do – I just wanted to end mine and say goodbye to everyone beforehand so my future absence was explained. I should have realised that the message I posted would have concerned some people but I really was not in any state to think about the repercussions for others.

I am so sorry I caused so much distress to others – that is something I will have to hopefully try and live with.

I don’t believe after the concern and anxiety I caused to so many that I will ever be able to return to the forum.

Can someone from the SANE team please explain all this to all those involved and pass on my gratitude for their compassion, concerns and kind words throughout the time I have been part of the ‘forum family’.

Thank you and sorry again for the difficult position I put everyone in.

Zoe7

I do not want any responses from any of you. I just wanted to let you know exactly what has happened and let you know how truly sorry I am for hurting people I have come to think of as friends and family, and who I really care about.

Your support, advice and compassion are what make you all the wonderful people you are.

@utopia and @Former-Member I am so sorry that the trust you placed in me has now been broken because of my actions. I also felt that we had a stronger connection, especially over the last week, and you both helped me in ways I cannot even describe or explain. I was not pulling away from you two - just wanted to pull away from myself. I couldn't cope with my own feelings and no-one or nothing was actually going to be able to stop me at the time. It's now just another failure to add to my list of failures. I really don't know what else to say to you both but to reiterate my heartfelt 'sorry'.

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In response to: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

@Faith-and-Hope That makes it hard. I need to lose weight but I can't seem to lose any. I gave up soft drinks and cut my takeaway food down dramatically 18 months ago and started exercising two hours three to four times a week I lost 3 kg then nothing

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Please don't rely on the scales @Ant7. Your weight has plateaued, but that doesn't mean that nothing is happening .....muscle weighs around three times as much as the equivalent volume of, shall we say, "not-muscle" so there may be an exchange going on, and your metabolism re-gearing itself.

Its important to set up a balanced lifestyle that includes adequate sleep and rest, adequate nutrition, socialisation and stress-busting, moderate excercise (which you're now doing), drinking a good amount of water (flushes away the metabolised junk) and some sort of seeking out joy. All these things impact on our weight management, but they also all come together in the right sort of way to settle things back into the right order, including our weight, and our mental well-being.

That's a very long way to say, "keep persevering .... you should start seeing movement again soon .... and it's more likely to be your waistband decreasing and clothes becoming looser ahead of actual movement on the scales".

In response to: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

@Faith-and-Hope That is true my Dr told me to do exercise that I enjoy that way I am more likely to keep going. But even she is scratching her head as to why I have not lost any more weight. I lost 10cm around my waist but that has Plateaued as well but I am enjoying what I am doing so that something

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

That's actually everything @Ant7 ....

I have ended up with metabolic syndrome as a result of juggling too many stressors for too long. I have always eaten healthfully and maintained exercise ..... but something I didn't know is that stressful circumstances cause insulin release as well der-exercising and eating a poor diet long-term .... and stress also causes cortisol release that inhibits weight loss .....

So ... continuing in a healthy lifestyle and doing everything I can to reduce stress in my life is all I can do ,.... and WH's condition sure ain't helping ..... !!!!

In response to: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

@Faith-and-Hope I can imagine it would add to the stress greatly. I will keep plodding along doing what I can and hopefully I will lose some weight or size or both would be nice lol

In response to: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

That's the way .... it just becomes an extension of the right sort of balances.

Heading off now ..... g'night ...... 😴

In response to: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

@Faith-and-Hope good night thanks for the chat 😊

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Morning @Faith-and-Hope How are you today Hon?

In response to: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Hi @Zoe7 ..... 🤗💕

I am okay-ish. I'm getting on with my day, but have unsettled feelings in the background, to do with therapy and the team that is working with us.

It still feels like game-playing while we can't just put everything out onto the table and deal with it honestly, but that would also mean putting my presence and involvement here out onto the table too ..... and having that judged and probed along with everything else.

One of my daughters raised the question of what if in trying to provide coping skills for S2, they take away or collapse the coping skills of others of us ?

In response to: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

It's probably a normal fear to have .... a like with other fears, we have to size up to them anyway ..... and then we also often find they weren't as difficult as we thought they would be .....

I'm going with that thought @Zoe7 ..... 💚💕

How are you this morning ?

The river looked blue with silver trails all over it this morning .....
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