OCD/Contamination OCD

Hey @Undecided ,

I can't say I have OCD anymore, but I hear the anxiety and stress around what you are experiencing and how this is affecting you and your family.

I was very young when I went through OCD. It was very stressful and painful for me.

Does your treating team think you need to go back on meds? I wonder if it will help?

I wonder if this thread will be helpful for you Any diagnosed germophobes or hoarders on this forum?

Please know are not alone.

Hi @tyme,

We haven't spoken about that, and to be honest, I'm very reluctant to go back on meds. Partly because I had been on antidepressants for over 20 years and finally managed to get off them not too long ago. The other reason was that this year was basically meant to be my last chance to potentially have a baby. This is so conflicting for me because I'm in no state to look after someone else, but the fear of not even trying is killing me too.

I've faced something similar before @Undecided .

I spoke to my treating team because I wanted to get off my meds. After a long chat, they pretty much said, if it's working, why upset the balance.

Was there a reason you stopped the meds?

As you said, you want to have a baby, but now know you are not in the best state to have one. I just wanted to say that the hormonal changes that come with pregnancies are huge and the last thing you want is to battle post-natal depression after.

Is this something you could discuss with your team, if you haven't already?

I hear how stressful things are for you right now. You deserve to feel supported at this time.

Please hold on.

@tyme that was honestly the only reason why I did. I am far too old to wait. Every month I wait is a big risk at this point, and I'm terrified of not getting that chance. Doctors have told me that antidepressants are fine during pregnancy but my husband and I did our own research and decided it was not safe and not worth the risk. I know the hormone changes are huge and I'm scared of that too. I don't have a specific treatment team or even long-term regular doctor. I just don't know what to do, but I'm devastated that my mental health has stopped me from having children.

At the same time, if you were more stable on the meds, then maybe you would feel more able and ready for children? @Undecided

I guess it important to trust your gut.

I'm thinking many people on antidepressants are having children. Maybe it's good to get another opinion? Only because things don't seem to be really working now, and as you said, you don't have that much time.

I used to think that my MH stopped me from having children - and yes, I think it did. But now, even though I'm in my 30s, I'm glad I don't have children. I used to want them, but not anymore. We are all different though.

I look forward to hearing from you and how things go.

What support do you think would be helpful at the moment?

Does mindfulness work for you? Some people swear by it and some hate it.

I was actually feeling pretty good and ready at the time that we made the decision to get off the meds @tyme

I'm sure a lot of people do. I have seen what it does to babies when the mother is on the same meds so I think it has affected me really negatively and made us decide against it.

I'm glad to hear that it's not something you want anymore, as it eliminates any chance of you regretting it. I feel a lot of sadness when I think about it. I think I never felt completely ready or totally stable in many ways, but a lot of people say that no one really feels ready or knows when the right time is. I am now 42 and fear the judgment from people, and the obvious risks of course too.

I really don't know what would be helpful or what I need. I haven't given mindfulness a good try but I really should. I find myself to be on autopilot at the moment and my nervous system is so dysregulated.

What does your treating team say?

Then again, can someone ever be fully ready for parenthood?

I used to hate mindfulness. I never really 'got it'. Then I learnt the science behind it and realised the power of mindfulness. Then I gave it a red hot go. I used the Smiling Mind App for guided sessions. Otherwise my mind wanders.

All the best. I look forward to hearing how you progress with things.

Feel free to tag me whenever you want a chat.

Continue to be you 🙂 @Undecided

@tyme I don't really have a treating team. I haven't found a doctor that I feel to confident or comfortable with and I'm not sure I click with the psychologist I'm speaking with. I will talk to her about it. There just never seems to be enough time.

I honestly don't know.

I've been meaning to try it but my compulsions seem to just take up all my time. I know it's something that could be great for me though.

Thank you so much. I appreciate it.

Have you tried SANE's Guided Service to see if you are eligible? This is over the phone, so that may be easier?

Feel free to have a look here @Undecided

It sounds like it may be helpful to work through these thoughts with a professional.

I'm here if you need a chat.

@tyme I actually already have earlier this year. My issues have definitely got worse since I finished up. I am currently speaking to a psychologist over the phone. Had two sessions so far but I don't feel it's helping.

Thank you.