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Son with mental health issues

Son with mental health issues

Hi, I have a 39 year-old son with mental health issues who has lived with me for the last 9 years. He has been on a DSP for the last 4 years. He has severe social anxiety among meeting criteria of Schizoid personality disorder, Agoraphobia, major Depressive disorder & OCD tendencies. He also now has stage 3 Melanoma which has been removed & is now on immunotherapy. As I have stated he lives with me in an upstairs bedroom where he stays basically 24/7. He has an ensuite, air-con, Foxtel & WiFi. I clean his room, wash his clothes, & generally organise evening meals. He gives me $300 a ft/night. He watches sport on Foxtel 24/7 & tries to win money by betting. At one stage he won $20,000 & spent it in 3 weeks by gambling. He receives a DSP every fortnight, pays rent & spends the rest on drinking & gambling over the next couple of days. I have tried on many occasions to try to get him motivated to move out, but he gets very agitated which can turn into hostility very quickly so then I just leave it alone. He is on the Public Housing list which is not going to happen overnight, hasn't enough money to rent generally & will not live with others in a rental situation. I have been told by my Social Worker cousin that I am an enabler of which I knew & I should see a psychologist to discuss why I have a need to make life so comfortable for him. I also have a partner of 3 years & he stays at my house most weekends. My son hides in his room when he is, so feel obligated to take up meals & go out so he can come downstairs & eat etc. As you can imagine this has affected my mental health & wish more than anything that he was living elsewhere. Would appreciate any feedback. Cheers Lotty.

14 replies

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In response to: Son with mental health issues

Re: Son with mental health issues

Hey @Lotty

To answer your questions: Yes, my parents gave me a month to move out and my mother would not have tolerated me staying longer than that I think. I think I would have maybe could have crashed on friend's couches temporarily if my parents had pushed me out, but I was basically looking at homelessness. Yes, I organised the priority housing myself and yes, I was still at my parent's place when the Housing Department gave me an offer of housing. I was initially turned down for priority housing, but I wrote them a long essay on appeal for why Housing should accept me and they did. In general when it comes to government departments I find that the squeaky wheel gets the oil. I got my doctor's to sign off that I needed housing in the local area (localised need). I am in sought after area, so I needed to do this.

I feel much better having my own independence. It has improved my quality of life. And it has improved my living skills. It was a really tough time when my parents asked me to leave, but it was for the best in the end. Very tense time while I waited for housing. But in the end, it was worth it.

In response to: Son with mental health issues

Re: Son with mental health issues

Thank you for your info about the priority housing. How do you apply or where please. I was like Lotty but had funded sons accommodation and everything else for nearly a decade. No longer able to live with us. He is in denial and assuming may face homelessness soon.

In response to: Re: Son with mental health issues

Re: Son with mental health issues

Hi @Supersadoldmum and welcome to the forums

It sounds as though you have provided so much support over the years for your son. Housing services can change depending on your state or area, a good place to start is askizzy.org.au which is a sort of directory website for social supports. You can use this to find housing supports local to you that you or your son can reach out to to get things moving

In response to: Re: Son with mental health issues

Re: Son with mental health issues

I hadn't heard of that, maybe a chance. It's not just the housing as you probably know it's also the ongoing mental health and alcohol problems so hoping he will at some point realise? He's also 39 😞
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