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Managing thoughts of suicide & self-harm

Hospital

Hospital

TW ED

Hey, sorry wasn't sure where to put this. I'm in an inpatient facility atm. My treating team are aware I have an eating disorder but the hospital itself isn't a locked one (not even locks on bedroom doors) and as such it's hard to facilitate ED behaviour.

Anyway, when I saw my psychiatrist yesterday he made a comment about the fact the due to me putting on weight he wanted to lower the dosage of a certain medication. To start with I haven't been weighed in hospital so how does he know I've put on weight and 2. The medication he is playing with although being a mental health medication is treating me for epilepsy so not something he should interfere with. My head doesn't know what to do with this. My ED is screaming at me how fat I must be because the psychiatrist can obviously notice I've put on weight. Also I mentioned all this to my nurse as I was really upset and she has made really clear notes about the conversation so now I'm worried about how he will react. Thoughts people???

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In response to: Hospital

Re: Hospital

Hey @Reeree welcome to the forums! 😊

I hear how overwhelming it must be to hear your psychiatrist say those things to you and be worried it might not be handled the right way. It's really great that you've reached out to the nurse, hopefully having those details written down means that this can be dealt with appropriately. You haven't done anything wrong, and I'm honestly a bit shocked that he'd make an assumption like that about your weight... definitely a good thing that you've picked up on this and spoken up, hopefully you get an explanation soon. And also there could be other reasons he's made that assumption, for example - if gaining weight is a very common side effect of the medication, he might be saying the same thing to everyone who is on that medication? I know it can be hard with ED behaviours to remember that gaining weight does not = being fat, and more importantly, remembering that your worth is not defined by this assumption. You deserve to be heard, to be seen and to be supported just as you are, no matter what. Reaching out for support and standing up for yourself takes a lot of strength, I hope you're proud of yourself for this. Sitting with you 💗

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