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Healthy advice

JackmouNew Contributor13 Oct 2024, 3:21 am AEDT

Healthy advice

this is my first time on this forum and a little bit nervous that I don’t come across right.

I am in a real messed up situation right now and am reaching out for advice.

I have major issues with trying to deal with heightened emotions and I am allowing them to rule my life resulting in causing chaos and hurt to my wife and daughter.

over the past few years I have been abandoning my family at stages when major issues needed to be dealt with and literally ran away from them and didn’t deal with anything leaving my wife to have to keep everything going in every aspect from finances to emotional support for my daughter whom is recovering from serious trauma from earlier in her life and then me returning with promises of changes to my behaviour only to continue the cycle again.right now my wife is totally drained and physically and mentally exhausted to the point where she wants out and needs to protect herself from going insane, and is willing to give up the home and her everything as she feels she is drowning and can’t continue living like this anymore.

I am finding it difficult to be able to say the right words that can let her know that I hear and see what she is telling me and going through without bringing it back to my emotions and feelings that keep getting in the way of a true genuine want to stop the emotional abuse and give her some peace and steadiness in her crazy life that I have given her.

I am really struggling to make this situation be addressed and give her the support and understanding of what she is enduring and having to live with.

I need advice on how I deal with this in a normal adult way with no self emotions attached.

Thank you

1 reply

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In response to: Healthy advice

MJG017Senior Contributor13 Oct 2024, 2:22 pm AEDT

Re: Healthy advice

Hi @Jackmou, welcome to the forum and trusting us enough to share your situation with us, thats never an easy thing to do.

Would I be correct in saying its been a usual way of coping with difficult situations to withdraw from everyone and everything? It certainly always been that way for me. It sounds like all three of you are overwhelmed by everything at the moment and reaching breaking points. I know you feel like you need to run away when things get too much, which is a very difficult reaction to overcome, but have you tried to sit down with your wife and have an open and honest talk with her? Maybe you could both decide to seek some counselling together.

Have any of you thought of reaching out to one of those crisis lines for some help? Or a psychologist or therapist? You can contact you GP for a mental health care plan the will give you 10 subsidised visits per year, if that makes things easier. It will certainly make it a lot less expensive.

There is even a support line here at 1800 187 263.

There is also a guiden recovery program here that may be helpful for you...

https://www.sane.org/referral

We are here as well to help you however we can. I wish I had some other advice for you, but it sounds like a very complicated situation you are in and some professional support seems like it would be the most helpful for you right now.

It does sound like you are fully aware of your own struggles and those of the ones closest to you, so continue to reach out and get ad much support as you can find, none of us can do this alone, and you've made a great first step. We're always here on the forum as well for you Jackmou. Take care and be kind to yourself.

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