Toxic houseguest

Hey @Krishna ,

It sounds like your friend needs to really put their foot down. Let them know their time is over, and within X amount of time, they need to be out. It's unfortunate, but unless there is urgency, it is very difficult for anything to change.

By all means, support the person to find accommodation or get support.

Something needs to be done as it sounds like this is wearing your friend down - all because of their kind heart.

Hi @Krishna, I agree with @tyme. Letting this person stay is not helping anyone in that situation, and will only end up destroying the relationship. The person really needs to be (strongly) urged to seek some help for their problem. Whether they accept or not is up to them, your friend can't smdo much more than that.

How are things @Krishna ?

Hi @tyme my friend is one who doesn’t handle confrontation very well so is struggling to stand his ground with this situation and unfortunately is enabling this behaviour by his houseguest by purchasing her alcohol (at her expense) as she does not own a vehicle and is unable to drive due to her injuries. Myself and others are gently trying to convince him to stop this enabling. It would no doubt be difficult for him but would result in this person being admitted to hospital with the sudden cessation of alcohol, but she would receive the care and help needed.

Oh dear @Krishna .

That sounds so hard. As a friend, I hope you can continue to encourage him to make the stand.

It sounds so 'easy' from our eyes, but I can see how hard it is for your friend.

I'm so glad your friend has you to support them.

@KrishnaIt is such a difficult situation, especially for someone who avoids confrontation. Maybe that is the key to the issue here... to try to get through to this houseguest without being confrontational.

Maybe just talk to them and teel them that you're concerned that this houseguest relies on your friend in ways that might not be healthy for either of them. Explain gently to them that enabling this behaviour is harming the person that they are trying to help. Encourage them to start setting some boundaries and explain how these can lead to some healthy changes in the long term and that it would benefit both of them. And finally, just let them know you are there to support them and that you're just suggesting these things because you care about their well being as well as the well being of the houseguest.

It's just a few thoughts that may be helpful.

Thank you @MJG017 All valid helpful advice. Hoping this situation can be resolved in a calm positive manner with the best possible outcome for both.

---

@Krishna wrote:

Thank you @MJG017 All valid helpful advice. Hoping this situation can be resolved in a calm positive manner with the best possible outcome for both.

---

@Krishna So do I. It's a difficult situation for anyone. Let us know how it goes and if we need to come up with some more ideas, we can see what we can all come up with.

@Krishna , how are things going? How is your friend?