Seeking Support in Understanding and Navigating Psychosis in a Loved One

Hey @SoulWaves welcome!! So lovely to have you join the forums 😊

I'm sorry to hear you've had to step back from your relationship, I can see that this was a really difficult decision for you to make & choosing to look after your mental health is super important. Supporting a loved one can be especially difficult if you aren't looking after yourself, so I'm really glad you've reach out and decided to take those steps to prioritise your wellbeing again. I can see that you clearly care and love this person so much, it makes total sense for you to feel grief over this relationship. Do you have support for yourself? Whether that's professional support or a friend you can openly discuss this with, talking about it can help process those heavy mix of feelings.

Here are some resources to get you start on supported a loved one:

• Psychosis (sane.org)
• Families, friends & carers (sane.org)

I know that some other members have been in similar boats as you and I'm sure they'll share their experiences with you soon too. Please know that you're not alone and we're sitting with you as you navigate these feelings. 💗

Hi @SoulWaves. I was sad to read about your experience with your partner who has psychosis. Talking about your grief and your decision to others (like SANE) is a great start. Just keep doing it every time you feel down.

I have had psychosis before and it helped when people just let me tell them what I thought was happening rather than being dismissed out of hand. It also helps to have a great therapist who has experience with psychosis.

I can probably also add that bottling things up or suppressing your feelings makes it come out in strange ways at a later time in your life. So face it now. Write about it if that's all you can do. Take Care.

Hi @SoulWaves and @Cleo,

I have a beloved family member who drops in and out of psychosis with schizophrenia. It can be severe and many times I thought we would soon lose him…but he gets better : ) We try to rally around him and get better support and n place. Big events really bring out the best and the worst of him depending. Moving is to be avoided! Weddings are fantastic with him! Some days he’s great and copes well, some days he’s jaded by the struggle himself, some days really make me worry incessantl. All of these days are him and who he is and I love him regardless. I cannot imagine life without him - so I accept him as he comes. He is not aggressive - but blunt at times. I guess living separately means I can say good night and jump off the phone or leave and I don’t have to deal with it. We all have our stuff and some days I just don’t feel like adulting or company too - and that’s okay. I try to remember when he’s not in great shape that it must be hard for him, just as hard as it is for me as I worry and try to help. Some days I give up and live my own life. But truth is, I’m always drawn back because he is family and my life has less meaning without him in it. I help when I can and don’t when I can’t and that seems to work for us. We’re great friends and close family and he’s the first to call and lend a hand when things in my life hit a snag. So they are my thoughts off the bat. It really comes down to the person and the nature and f your relationship and I think it helps that I have some distance and we have space to let things air and keep cool. It’s his life so I let him live it and as long as he’s not too destructive to himself or others, which for the most part he’s not, then we have a rich and rewarding relationship. When things hit the skids it can be hard, but life it simply not easy all the time as we are all growing and learning. It’s taught me a lot of patience : ) and how much I love him : )

Hey @Cleo2 , thank you for sharing your experience. I’m really sorry you went through that—it sounds so challenging. I completely agree that talking about it and letting out your feelings is essential, as bottling things up can have its own effects later on.

With my ex, what made it even scarier was that he believed I was involved in and leading the whole conspiracy. It was incredibly hard to deal with because no amount of reassurance seemed to help, and I felt trapped in this cycle. I think the most helpful thing for me now has been therapy and finding ways to process everything. It’s a long journey, but I’m slowly working through it. Writing definitely helps a lot, like you mentioned.

Thank you for reaching out and sharing your thoughts—it means a lot. I hope you’re also finding the right support as you continue your own healing. Take care of yourself!

Thank you so much @rav3n for the warm welcome and for your kind words, it means a lot. It really was such a difficult decision, and even though I know it’s the right one for my mental health, the grief is still really heavy. I loved this person deeply, and stepping back has been one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.

I appreciate you mentioning the importance of looking after myself—it’s something I’m still working on, but I’m starting to take those steps again. I’ve been seeing a therapist, which has been really helpful, and I’m lucky to have a few close friends I can talk to about everything. They’ve been a great support system for me.

Thanks for sharing the resources too! I’ll definitely check them out. It’s comforting to know that I’m not alone in this and that there are others who understand what it’s like to support someone going through psychosis. I really appreciate the support from this community—it helps a lot just knowing there are people here to share this journey with. 💗

Hey @Harmonium , thank you so much for sharing your story. I really admire the way you’ve found balance in your relationship while still being able to care for yourself. It sounds like you've created a healthy space that allows for love and patience without losing yourself in the process.

For me, the situation was really different. My ex partner and I lived together, and his psychosis was incredibly severe, with him believing I was at the center of the conspiracy he was convinced of. I wasn’t just someone on the outside looking in; I became part of the delusion. It was impossible for him to seek help because he couldn’t trust anyone, especially me, and living together in that constant state of suspicion became unbearable. As much as I wanted to stay and support him, I realized I had to completely distance myself for my own mental health.

It’s heartbreaking because I know he didn’t choose this, and neither did I, but I had to do what's best for him and myself and I still care about him deeply. But there was no future for us with things being the way they were. I had to accept that love sometimes means stepping back when it becomes too destructive, especially when there's no way to help without the other person being willing to seek that help themselves.

Your perspective is still a comfort, though, and it makes me reflect on what love and patience can look like in less severe situations. Thank you for that. 💕

Hi @SoulWaves . If they think you're in the conspiracy then choosing to step back seems like the right thing to do. All the best for you and your ex.

Hi @SoulWaves

I guess I was giving you the glossy version. This is the other side…

Following this I will tell you about a tough relationship that left me stranded on a different continent without my passport or phone for contrast - however, that relationship was a partner and he was not diagnosed with schizophrenia! So, my point is every relationship you’ll experience is different as every person is unique.As a consequence, I generally have a low threshold for BS but then, I am currently entering menopause and have a new appreciation for BS because I am living through a life change that is genuinely staggering me : /) so make of this what you will but here are my two stories. Actually, I’ll add a third, the father of my child.

So the father of my child I dated for 3 years. He was incredible! From another country with a beautiful accent and very busy studying medicine, rewriting medical books and completing his PHD in an area that involves conductivity of flesh to bone and uses more big words thank I can muster. Literally a genius and sweet as pie. So I got sick, very sick and was about to start chemo and with that tablet in my hand…I paused, put it down as I thought nope, I’ll try to beat this naturally. That day, I crawled to a pool and swam. It was winter. I could not walk. And every day after I practiced Qi Gong, I became vegetarian, I danced, I studied biology and mitochondria and ya know what, I recovered so I didn’t need that life altering medication. Throughout, my child’s soon to be father was living OS on a study break. Suddenly he returned while I was amidst my health transition. We met for a night and I had been off the pill as he was away and so that one night, he told me he was moving OS for good…that night, in my mid 40s I fell pregnant. Afterwards, turns out he is a PUA. I never knew. Turns out he is a player essentially. I never knew. Turns out he writes books on things I never knew about him for the 3 years we dated. He said, it had nothing to do with me. I said, in matters of the heart we should be clear and honest least people not know what/who they are sharing time with. Long story short, I am a single parent and 50. It’s brutal and beautiful all at once. That guy brilliant and somewhat in the spectrum, I thought they were all honest. Not so. Pays to never generalise.

Previous partner, brilliant again, left me at the airport in a foreign country but took my bags and simply abandoned me. Because, I packed my bags and took ‘bobby pins’ which he thought suggested I would not return to him which was ludicrous…but that didn’t change the fact that I was on another continuant with no passport ID or money. I thought my life was over. I had just landed and didn’t even speak the language in that country! This was one of the nicer weird things this ‘partner’ of mine did - but it’s sticks with me because I’ve never felt so lost in my life. He rolled up a few hours later to the airport and casually acted as though nothing had happened…my then I was a different person. I’d panicked. Fretted. Catastrophised. Naturally. And he seemed to feed off it, Thjngs were never the same after that event.

TW: Experiences related to psychosis

And that said, it cost me everything I had and I had to leave behind everything I loved, owned and built - to start again. But to stay, would have been the end of me. And not by my own hand. I believe this person was narcissistic/socio/schico/path. He seemed to enjoy my suffering, condition and misery - his issues/reasons were diabolically different from reality. I stayed because I loved him and thought this behaviour stemmed from his insecurity… I found out years later this pattern was familiar to the people before and after me who were that person’s partner. The person, had a beautiful upbringing - so I feel like there was no other reason but some kind of sickness for his behaviour.

By comparison, these two stories make schizophrenia (the third) look like a walk in a meadow on a warm day in spring.

My point is, try not to over generalise…people are unique. Relationships are unique. Wonderful relationships can be found when you don’t expect them and weird ones can happen when you think everything is textbook perfect.

My final note is, while there is air in my lungs I am unlikely to ever live with a partner again. But people can visit. I like to feel safe and able to control my circumstances, that way I can protect my cub and myself.

But hey, apparently I have mental health issues corresponding to the above mentioned issues plus a few other life altering events so… Are we sane people in an insane world? Or is this just life? I try to draw the positives, accept, listen to my own internal voice and grow…from experiences : )

I wish you well in your recovery, I feel for you and the rawness but also, as someone currently entering menopause, I know that sometimes we can all be irrational perhaps. And life goes on - we have one life - it’s one world - our home - be the change you so desire in this world (I paraphrase some great philosopher with that phrase but I’m I’m just doubling down because it resonated with me in times of struggle). Struggle, is tough but okay : ) maybe even a blessing in disguise. Life is…what happens while we’re maki other plans. And also…life is magical : ) Ahhh, that feels better. Bye for now…

@SoulWaves i'm really glad to hear you've got a great support system!! Self-care, especially after spending a lot of time prioritising other people's needs over your own, does take a bit of practice to get back into - really great to hear you're getting back into it 💗

hey @Harmonium thank you for sharing such personal and profound experiences with me. I really appreciate the openness and depth in your message, and I can sense the strength and wisdom you've gained through these challenges. It’s clear that you've faced some incredibly difficult moments, but your resilience and perspective on life are truly inspiring.

I’m grateful for your support and your honesty, and it means a lot that you took the time to connect with me in this way. Sending you warmth and strength as you continue on your journey.

Take care. ♥️♥️