Procrastination and stress

That's really tough @creative_writer

Pushing yourself to study can be hard enough, but having to deal with intrusive thoughts once you've gotten over that hurdle makes it that much more difficult.

Have you ever found a study pattern/strategy that makes this a little more manageable? Like taking breaks with a pomodoro-type method?

It's such a shame how rigid our structures of schooling are. You are forced to work and learn in such specific, unflexible ways which just don't work for so many people, so struggling with it absolutely 100% does not make you a failure.

@creative_writer define non-productive things. Your post reminds me of David Graebers work. I miss him so much. The way society defines productive is damaging to the planet and our mental health. Go easy on yourself.

A few years ago I stumbled across the concept of Kairos and Kronos:

Chronos means the tyranny of time. Eg deadlines, days months years etc . Being a slave to time (productive)

Kairos: the liberty of timelessness. Eg spending time at a museum,- you lose track of time. You can just.... be.

in 2007 i spent a day at a meditation and trauma therapy course. The guy running it talked about how in Aboriginal language there are no words for "past, present and future". They dont have a concept of it in their language/culture. They instead describe it as "now" or "a time other than now". He said they lived in a culture of timelessness. The idea stuck with me ever since.

There is nothing wrong with the dopamine rush. That is why we exist. It is just that social media gives us micro dopamine rushes and monetises it. Find what gives you joy. It is what it means to be human in a necro-capitalist world that constantly wants to deny us our humanity.

Apologies if i am getting deep.

In terms of study. As a ptsd survivor who just came out of an abusive family, it was very hard for me to complete those three years just to get a job where I rent myself out for money to survive. I felt I could never do it again, even years after I completed it. Yeah things did get better with my brain and I could focus but I still to this day couldnt go back to uni. I find teaching myself and learning at my own pace way better. Perhaps it is not so much about our "broken brains" but a broken education system within a wider broken political system. We all feel it. Try not to internalise it too much.

Hi @creative_writer

I'm sorry to hear about the intrusive thoughts. That would definitely make studying alot harder to deal with. It's also totally understandable that you are feeling overwhelmed with the amount of work you need to do... uni seems to have a way of making everything due on the same week!

It's good that you have recognised that you don't want to be in a similar situation that you were previously in with leaving things to the last minute.

I'm wondering if you have looked into disability support services at your University? When I was studying I had a plan made for me due to my PTSD that gave me a bit more breathing space with assignments etc. I just needed evidence from my Dr for this. Student support services can also help with study tips etc than can help find techniques that work for you.

I found that scrolling on my phone was a big distraction for me when I was trying to get things done, so I would often leave it in a different room and set myself a time frame that I had to sit down and study for before I could walk away and check my phone/watch TV etc. I called this my "shut up and write" time... it was only about 20mins at a time and then I allowed myself a 10-15min break. Even though the time was quite short it helped me focus for such a short time as I knew I would have a break soon. Not sure if this would work for you and the intrusive thoughts, but may be worth a try.

I also find that breaking big tasks into smaller goals helps to make things not seem as overwhelming... for an assignment the small goal for one day might be finding appropriate documents for references, or writing a skeleton plan of how the assignment would be set up, or writing just one section. The small tasks eventually build on each other and by the time you've done 5 days worth of small tasks the assignment has a big chunk completed.

Also you are not a failure! You seem like a very strong person and have a great self-awareness understanding of what's going on for you. It's OK to need support from others and I hope you are finding it here on the forums 💙

Warm regards

SkySeeker22

I'm hearing you @creative_writer .

In a way, it's good you notice that it is probably your phone that is a distraction and you can perhaps do something about it.

Do whatever works for you.

I spent the morning in the sun today. Have you had your dose of sun today?

I had a blood test a while back and only just got the results back yesterday. Looks like my iron is severely lacking again which may be the reason why I have headaches, fainting etc...

How are your iron levels?

Hope you are feeling okay today.

I had a good day in the sunshine today @creative_writer .

The kids are on school holidays, so I'm spending a lot of time with them. I was fixing their bikes today, but I think there's puncture, so I'm going to the bike shop to get it serviced tomorrow.

That's about it 🙂