Never being in a relationship

Hey @Former-Member ,

You are absolutely NOT alone in feeling this way.

I only JUST responded to another member online who was feeling a similar way. I'll have to find the thread and tag you.

Believe it or not, there are more people than you think who experience similar thoughts of never being in a relationship. The reasons may be different, but the underlying issue is pretty much the same.

I hear how disheartening this can be.

As I've mentioned in the past, I wonder if it's about finding your tribe? Finding those who value you for who you are?

Found it @Former-Member

Do you ever feel you’re not “meant for love”?

@leafylady666 , you may be able to relate to @Former-Member . Looking to hear your thoughts.

Sure do! I am sure you are not alone!

@tyme Thanks I do appreciate the message.

I am currently struggling with a recent diagnosis of ASD and ADHD which I believe has had a significant impact on my ability to form friendships and have a relationship. I am trying to find a psychiatrist to help with that but I honestly dont know what to do in the mean time.

I cant socialise properly without being absolutely exhausted due to processing and concentrating. I just want to be normal.

Hi @Former-Member @Shift83 @tyme I can totally relate to this feeling and these thoughts. I have not wanted to be in a relationship for years because of this. I would be content with finding a tribe of some sort or some friendships.

I'm the same last year diagonosed with ASD and ADHD. And the rest of the alphabet. But then again "what is normal"? Rather be a little out there and true to myself than mask as you said it gets exhausting. Even getting a job. 1 month later still feels like it's a new job every day, as I have to mask.... it's horrible.

@everyone - I can spell, something about this site just makes me bash keys and hit submit.

@Shift83 @Cleo2 @tyme

I know what you mean about "normal". I guess it is more about just having a solid friendship group and being in a relationship. Feeling connected and loved would be the closest definition I can get to.

I know what you mean about feeling like every day is your first day at a job. That's been my experience too.

Hi @Former-Member,

The gaslighting bit - dang that hit the nail on the head.

Your brain begins to mess with itself by thinking “Am I happy being alone, or am I just saying this to cover the fact I am actually unhappy and lonely”…

I talk to my psychologist about this topic often and she always reminds me that just because people are in relationships doesn’t equally guarantee happiness.

Like having a romantic relationship is the key to all my problems and my acne will clear, depression will be cured etc etc.

The whole Disney thing 😂

I recently found out an ex-close friend who inflicted a lot of trauma on me was married with a child - and I felt so jealous and hurt because she’d always contributed to the narrative that I was “undesirable”.
It sent me into such a bad place because I felt every bad thing she’d said about me was true.

But here’s the thing - I know deep deep (very deep) down I am worthy of love, and I definitely know you are too.

I bet after all the work and time you’ve spent helping and healing yourself, you have so much heart and wisdom to give.

May not be today, might be tomorrow - but you’ll find someone.

Until that time, continue to love yourself, okay?

I think for me, I distance myself so I don't let people to close even if they want it @leafylady666 @Former-Member .

I think it's part of my BPD.

Then, years on, I've become quite satisfied by myself.

Is it a fear still? Or is it something 'wrong' with me?

Let's just all hang out together @leafylady666 @Former-Member @Shift83 @Cleo2 ,

Sounds like we are all in the same boat.

Maybe the rule is that we have to be satisfied in ourselves for things to move forward?

Thoughts?