Question re: onset of bouts of depression

I wonder if it's a 'normal'/'natural' part of life? @JustMe71

For me, I feel that when something doesn't feel right, I question myself, even after a gazillion times, in order to reflect on what's not working for me and then seek ways for things to improve.

I'm really not sure.

I've lived with MH challenges for several decades now, but what's different from yours is that I don't really fall into bouts... It was more one LONG bout and then I've been in a good place since (if I monitor it carefully).

What are some things that help you manage?

Hi @JustMe71 I've been asking myself that same question for 20 years. My hope is that someone will tell me so that I can get the right treatment for it. However, I currently believe that asking that question over and over might just be a part of having anxiety. Sorry I can't be of more help.

Hi @JustMe71 welcome to the forum. How are you? Can i know what makes you down? We are here for you ❤️.

Hi @JustMe71 thank you for asking this question. I have suffered with depression for over 20 years myself, but initially i knew what caused it, and that was the death of my partner of 11 years. It took me 6 months of trying to be strong and pretend there was nothing wrong, when I just couldn't cope from day to day without crying for no reason and couldn't think straight and I was generally unhappy. That's when I consulted a GP and was diagnosed with depression and put on medication.

But over the 20 + years, I have dealt and accepted this loss, and still struggle with constant bouts of depression. Over the journey of different therapists, I have learned a lot about myself and found that a lot of issues that I have as an adult, actually stem from my childhood and the environment I was raised in. Because of an abusive father, I learned to become a people pleaser. I didn't know what my core values were, or what boundaries were. I used to put everyone else's needs before my own, just to make everyone happy and not to cause conflict of any sort. To this day, I hate any sort of conflict and struggle to stand up for myself.

I really feel that it is these unlearned lessons that have caused 70% of my depression over the years. As the mistakes and choices that I made as an adult made me very unhappy and I could never understand, at the time, why I was having these bouts of depression, when I should be happy. I had the basics, a good paying job, a roof over my head and food on the table and a partner.

By the time I reached 50 and had lost everything that I loved and cared about, because of an abusive relationship, I hit rock bottom. I had to start from scratch and learn all the lessons, that I should have learned as a child. I have just completed my 2nd workshop that helped me find out what my true core values in life are, and I have also learned how to set boundaries, so the people that used to walk all over me, no longer can. I have started to put some boundaries in place and even the little wins, where I put my own needs first, and then consider my family's needs, is very empowering.

I know I still have a lot of learning to go and I also need to remember to keep practising what I have learned to improve my quality of life. But now I have a glimmer of hope, that one day, I will be able to live without the constant ups and downs caused by depression.