Not coping the end is coming

it's very sad to think and feel like that. I hope you remain feeling safe to reach out to people and just keep walking, one foot in front of the other. Maybe take a visit to your GP and get the right chemicals to give you some mind relief.

Hey there @john74, I'm so sorry to hear you've been struggling with a lot of heavy feelings. I can see how exhausted you are from having so much to deal with, but please know that you don't have to go through this alone.

Talking about the things that have been weighing on your mind might help lessen that exhausting load on you, and you deserve to feel heard and supported. Do you have someone you can reach out to right now?

We're hear to support you @john74 💙
However, if you feel you need immediate support, please reach out to:
Lifeline 13 11 14 https://www.lifeline.org.au/
Lifeline Text Support 0477 131 114 https://www.lifeline.org.au/crisis-text/
Suicide Call Back Service 1300 659 467 
https://www.suicidecallbackservice.org.au/
If feeling unsafe, please contact 000

MensLine Australia is also an option, they're a 24/7 telephone and online counselling for men, and a great place for you to talk about your ex if that's something you'd like to do - here's their number: 1800 737 732.

Financial issues can feel overwhelming to deal with on your own, and it really sucks you can't get the treatment you need right now - have you been able to discuss this with a gp to see some alternatives? There's also free financial counselling services such as Financial assistance | The Salvation Army Australia who can perhaps help come up with some ideas to help you financially feel more stable.

50th birthday is such a beautiful milestone, surrounding yourself with people you love and trust can help keep you safe. I know it may seem like things aren't improving, but this is just one of those TEMPORARY low moments and you are more than capable of bouncing back up - you being here right now and reaching out is proof that you have the strength to get through this. Our recovery journey often isn't linear, it can go up, down, down, down, up, etc., but in the bigger picture, you can see that things are getting better. Today's just one of those days that the bigger picture looks blurry, but I assure you - things will get better, this pain is not permanent. Please do reach out to your supports, you matter to us. 💙

@john74 hey john74 hun remember things will get better bit by bit. hang onto the good things however small. i have been where you are and it is tough but it will improve given time.

Hello @john74,

I'm glad you've come back to share this with us, I hear that things are feeling really hard for you right now with no end in sight, although turning 50 is definitely no small feat. That is half a century of overcoming everything life has had to throw at you so far, that tells me you are a lot stronger than how you are feeling right now.

You're not alone, there are people in this battle with you and who care that you make it 💜 Many of us are on this very forum. Keep coming back and talking, and if you haven't already reach out to some of those resources that @Raven3 shared. I have heard really good things about MensLine too from some people close to me who have been through tough stuff.

If there is anything I have learned on my journey it's that things can always improve 🙏

---

@john74 wrote:

Hi just me again l m just over my whole life atm everything is a battle l can't forget about my ex .l am struggling financially can't afford some medical treatment the list goes on. My 50 th birthday is Christmas eve maybe that's the right time. I don't see things improving

---

Hi again @john74. I'm 54 this Christmas, well... a week before. I can't imagine how painful it must feel for you at the moment to be thinking like this. I would like to understand better. You aren't alone John, we're here and we want to understand more about why you're feeling this way.

There are places out there that can help you with medical expenses. For example, my mens group have offered to pay for my psychology visits for the rest of the year. @rav3n provided you with some other options you could look at.

I understand that you're really feeling like you can't forget about your ex right now John. Those feelings must be incredibly intense right now, but as unlikely as it sounds that intensity will fade over time and things will start to feel better. You have a lot of living left to do and you wont feel this way forever... as hard as it is right now, it will get easier.

I remember years ago hearing the story of a guy who was stranded in the desert and how to walk for an incredibly long distance the scorching heat to save himself. He said he just wanted to sit down and give up because it just felt like it was impossible. He said he then realised thinking about the end of the journey was the problem and why it felt impossible. He stood up and thought about one step... then a second... and a third. He just kept doing this only thinking about one more step. Eventually he made it to help.

I think it's maybe the same with you. You cant see a future because it seems to difficult and too far away. So just concentrate on the next step... which maybe calling finding out about some free counseling or financial assistance. Than another step, which might be talking to your GP, then another step which may telling us more on how you're feeling. Just keep trying to focus on those small steps and don't think of the next step until you've completely the last. Slowly, but surely that future will come into view and you'll start to see that you feel like you can take more and more steps. Does this make any sense at all?

Look at all the replies you've gotten so far John. People here care about you. I'd really like you to post here at least every day to tell us how you're feeling or even just to vent a bit. I know from what you've said how much you are struggling but you're not alone. You don't have to fight this alone, use any resources and supports you have available, including here. There will be better days ahead.

Hey John74 😀

Just so you know we all get over life sometimes mate & especially an ex partnership definitely has its struggles and usually some barriers we all have to face.

Stay positive and you never know what your fifth birthday surprise might bring you 😉

@Bunniekins Thanks unfortunately l am just blind to any improvements to my life. It's tough without any family or friends to talk to l hate being alone and wonder why l have to go through it. I could understand if l had upset people but l haven't l have always been honest and gentle with everyone. But unfortunately those that are aggressive and nasty scare me l hate conflict. I can't handle being put down and abused after yeas of it in 2 different relationships.

@Nanztaz hopefully a big surprise maybe work and l new relationship but l doubt l m that lucky