1... 2... 3...BPD and counting

Hey @LovelyBones88 ,

I'm sorry to hear it is so so hard at the moment. Will going out for a breather help?

Do you have people around you who you can reach out to and talk to?

Sorry @tyme for the late response...

I do have people who knows what I'm currently struggling with but not everything... I am slowly pulling back into saying anything coz I just thought it's better that way... So in a sense I am starting withdraw or isolate myself coz I don't want to burden someone of my issues... I've dealt with this problem of mine many times before so I hope that I can get through this unscathed but the bad side of it is the risk is high and I feel that it's stronger than before... So I'm doing my best but if it happens then that's it... 😕

@tyme @rav3n @Ru-bee @Snowflake @tacocat

TW SUICIDAL THOUGHTS AND SELF HARM URGES

Today I woke up not remembering how I got home from hospital.. I was taken to hospital last night because eof the suicidal thoughts and urges... Last thing I remembered was me getting in the hospital and left after an hour... Anything that happened between that and me waking up this morning is a blur... How I know that? Well I was painting my side table last night when I got home and I woke up and saw that I wrote my name on the know of the side table...

The suicidal thoughts and urges are really really really strong right now and I don't know how to process this really...

Anyone got Any suggestions??? 😔

I got support workers coming each day so on that note I'm good but it's not going to stop me coz eventually they'll have to go home so then I'm left alone once again then the thoughts and urges comes back.. then it starts again and again... I don't if I can walk around and around chasing my own tail or just finish this last chapter of my life, my way...

hey @LovelyBones88 it's really good to hear from you.

sounds like you've gone through a lot in the last few days, that must've been pretty scary and confusing to experience. it's okay to take some time to process this, take things slow - things might not make sense right now but there's no rush in finding all the answers immediately either.

it's really great that you've got your social worker coming in to check-in on you each day, even if it's for a quick visit!

it takes a lot of strength to come here when you're fighting those urges so i hope you know how proud we are of you for reaching out. have you made a safety plan before? if you haven't already, creating one might be really useful so whenever those urges are strong, you can refer to the safety plan steps.

please don't hesitate to reach out to services like Lifeline and SCBS when you're feeling those urges:

• Mental health crisis support — where to get help | healthdirect
• Lifeline crisis supporter (24 Hrs) 13 11 14
• Suicide callback service (24 Hrs) 1300 659 467
• SANE Support Line (counsellors are available Mon-Fri, 10am-8pm) 1800 187 263
• 000 Emergency, police & ambulance (24 Hrs)

here's some other resources too:

• Staying safe when you’re feeling suicidal (sane.org) - check out the 'if you're feeling suicidal but not in danger right now'
• Tools and apps for self-harm (lifeline.org.au) - there's some apps, one's paid and one's free - with the free one, you can work on creating a safety plan. You can also call a crisis line to help create on too.

do you have a friend you can invite over? or any pets? i find that pets, particularly dogs can be really great at boosting mood, keeping us busy and also safe.

just know that you do have control of how you interpret your thoughts and you have control of your actions. it's hard when those intrusive thoughts pop in and say negative things, but you have the power to say those negative thoughts are wrong. that you are valued, worthy and important. that you do deserve to live, and explore and create. you matter. sitting with you 💜