G'day from WA

@AlwaysMyself So very happy to meet you here. Truly you are family. It is TRUE LOVE we want, not religious impostors.

i wrote this poem in response to meeting Jesus inside my life.

Oh Lamb of God!

I know for sure that Your Voice is You!
For The Living Word within is really true.
Right within my soul Your Spirit dwells!
About God's Kingdom Your love tells.

Forgiving love works wonders within,
for good surely does away with sin.
Your love bringing thankfulness alive
Making an end to all my inner strife.

Keep teaching me The Way to go,
Living Waters through my life to flow.
A heart praising God each Day anew
His loving Word that ugly Dragon slew.

Slowly day after day You take me in,
On-high with You and all God's kin
Praising Father for only He is good.
His loving Truth my constant food.

More and more The TRUTH reveals
As The Lamb of God opens all the seals
Angels beside themselves with glee
God's amazing Salvation I may see!

Oh Lamb of God - You alone I praise!
Your loving truth bringing God's Grace!
Without You Alive I could not have known
What Your love inside me has sown!

@DownMoreThanUp that is a lovely piece also. 😊

I have know a few people who say they are christians (and no doubt do truely believe) but also are caught up in the politics of 'church' or 'authority' and sometimes forget to above all else examine their actions/words/motives against love and the best interests of the individual. I guess it's a part of being human and imperfect; but its very saddening to see because of the great harm that can be done when anyone acts in harmful ways, and even more so when it is someone who the individual is taught to hold in high esteem or authority. 😓

I am very much more of a 'spirit of christ/god' than a "but this specific version of a bible translation says..." or organisational-hierachy person -- if you couldn't already tell lol.

I have been lucky in my youth to have a church elder who cared for me almost as though I was their child, and were someone supportive I could talk to during my darkest thoughts - but also celebrate my achievements and debate interesting topics in life or christianity. Oh, and tell me funny stories from their life too of course!

@AlwaysMyself How privileged you have been receiving such an introduction to Jesus. i did meet true Christians as a kid, and i loved and admired all of them. They were awesome people, who suffered wrong, instead of judged those overcome by it.

An real eye opener then already but my own judgemental attitude towards my faithless ANGRY WITH GOD alter, and my religious upbringing ALTER still dragged me off the wrong way.

Locking myself in wrong 'inside' and letting my trauma wounds fester. Doing that would prime me for another bout of rage, and an enormous hatred towards myself as believer trying to do right thing, but ignoring the rest of myself, which often ending in psychotic bouts/times/periods. This began to happen soon after my sexual assault at 11 and has never been different since.

i even wrote a poem about my demise doing that. See what you think. (The day 'the man of sin,' doomed to destruction, living within me was revealed, and cut down by the breath of our Lord's mouth, Jesus in Spirit coming Alive within me instead.)

The Day I died My Religious Egocentricity

@DownMoreThanUp i love how you have been able to move yourself (and all your alters/identities) towards a more accepting and healing path centred on love. 😊

I recall going through an 'angry at god' (and the world i guess) stage as a young teen - also in relation to CSA as well as lonliness and depression. I dont remember it too much, and i dont think it lasted long; I think mostly I was angry at the world/people and felt let down that God 'allowed' it to happen.

I dont recall how I changed that thinking. But somehow I also managed to come to see that it wasnt god's desire for me to be hurt or suffering, but that the world runs it course and hes with me through it. I was then able to put the responsibility where it belonged - on the perpetrators of abuse. But through my church friend was able to also learn and process for forgiveness to free myself from holding onto the pain. I never "forget" what happened or trusted the person again, and im more cautious yes because I know some people do bad things sometimes, but I dont feel torn up or angry by it anymore.

@AlwaysMyself Wow you learned a lot of very valuable lesson very early on in your life with God. Most of my life i have been a divided man, even within my alters i was divided as. For even as Nations of this world are shaped by just a few Families, so am i many in one in my alters. Psalm 34, 51, and especially Psalm 86 tell part of my life story in a nutshell. i was badly damaged and divided!

Yet only recently (2016) did i learn to understand the oneness in Christ is for all of myself in my divided selves. And i have to stop big time slaughtering myself in my Sheep, and also big time get rid of those wolves in sheep clothing ruling my inner world of being the (religious) Elite.

Unbelievable changes began to happen in me when Jesus brought me a person in my life who taught me to understand this. Although he was not a Christian, but a C.P.T.S.D survivor who also happened to be a psychologist, and through the practise of mindfulness combined with faith in the power of love, managed to unravel the cob webs of lies bringing him his torment. This had him break free from his mentally ill life, and he made a career overcoming his misery instead. Helping people with P.T.S.D and C.P.T.S.D. He had only just started this online, when i met him and was lucky enough to have him counsel me in person via Skype and Zoom for about 6 months. As well as reading all of the materials he had on all of this for sale along with it.

This person opened my eyes to a lot of things. He had no trouble acknowledging Jesus as truthful love within me. Even often opening my eyes to Jesus, even as he taught me to let inner love process the immense pain i had buried underneath. i had never dared let anyone near my pain. The hurt of that festering had for years sparked uncontrollable rage at other times, causing my intense fear and freaking paranoia seeing myself so angry and blasphemous, causing me my crushing depression, amplifying my demonic voices, causing me more raging psychoses, out of my mind, fuelled by the pain of the hurt, i had always suffered but never found relief for. Which in turn had me cycling through my moods and emotions like a speed boat. Where literally and all blown apart, i was unable to think, or process my feelings, and all i want to do was die.

So glad this person unravelled my inner cobwebs like that. Without having any need to take my faith in Jesus from me, rather re-enforcing like never before. What so many other doctors and therapist had constantly tried me to stop - namely my faith in God, even though they knew it was all i had left from finishing it off, he never ever did.

Thanking Jesus for that. For that is why i trusted him, unlike i had some other professionals, who told me to break with my faith in God, some even ridiculing me for trusting Jesus loved me.

Sad but true.

@DownMoreThanUp Im glad he understood the value of your belief in God, and how central it is to you, and used that to incorporate into how he helped you. That is how it should be. Im sorry to hear past therapists/doctors/etc had tried to separate out your faith from your mental health supportive factors.

Do you still have his as part of your support network if/when you need?