Peer Group Chat// Break-Up Blues // Thursday 5th September 2024, 7-8:30PM AEST

Sorry @tyme I’m going to tapout on this topic. Still love PGC 🤗 G

Super chat tonight! Thanks for your contributions. @monket @Shaz51 @Wildflower @WildFlower1 @Macqua @Glisten @Alonely @Oaktree @Healandlove @cam @Ainjoule @GreyWolf7

Here are tonight's questions and resources:

From this conversation tonight, we really wanted to also open up a discussion about the loss of a therapist or a break-up from a therapeutic relationship.

What have been your experiences?

How did you manage?

What are some hinters you can give to someone going through something similar?

I broke up with my psych. While it was definitely for the best it was really stressful having to tell her I won’t be seeing her anymore. She has sent me a text since but I ignored it. It was a relief that I did it as it wasn’t healthy for me. But I had a major stress episode afterwards where the nurses in here considered sending me to hospital

Thanks for sharing @Captain24 .

So is this why you have the new psych?

I hope it works out for you. I can imagine the guilt that may have been felt after you told her you'd stop seeing her. However, i'm glad to hear it was for the best.

@tyme my only experience has been narcopaths. Missed a “bullet” twice.

Unfortunately the last one got me.

A normal relationship would be nice.

G

It is why I got a new psych. @tyme. I discovered that being called stupid and selfish wasn’t the right way to treat a patient. So my new psych is a facilitator here. She was amazing in group and the one on one time she spent with me.

Sorry to hear @Glisten . Must have been hard to navigate these 'relationships'...

Really shows your resilience.

I'm so so so sorry this happened to you @Captain24 . You deserve so much better. I'm glad you made the decision to move on.

Interesting questions tonight. I'm sorry I couldn't make it. I've been stuck with work. But some quick thoughts on "break ups" as a distraction from the work thing. 😉 They're inevitable in life and can happen with all sorts of people - from family, to friends, to partners and even therapists. They can be devastating at the time, but I do believe time heals wounds - though it can take a lot of time to get over the break up blues. Invariably we learn something from the experience, about ourselves and about others if we take the time to reflect. Sometimes it's actually good to rid ourselves of the toxic relationships or those that don't work.

I started EMDR several months ago. The therapist wasn't the right one for me. I've learnt more about what I am looking for in the people that help me and that I need to ask questions about their style earlier on and set boundaries too (I'm not a huge fan of therapist self disclosure). It annoys me that I wasted all this time and money and it took 9 precious 10 medicare sessions. It annoys me that the therapist wasn't honest about the relationship not working too. But, we've both learnt things and given each other feedback. So it's onto a new therapist in a few weeks and we'll see what happens. Fingers crossed.

I see also my experience is not uncommon to this group. It's one of the most important relationships we can form for our healing and also one of the most difficult.

Hearing you @GreyWolf7 . I agree with much of what you have shared here. Breaks-ups are really something that we are all faced with and it's about how we navigate the break up that ultimately supports or is a detriment to us moving forward.

With therapists, it agree whole heartedly that the relationship can so powerful - yet it can also be one of the hardest things we ever have to face.

To share our innermost vulnerabilities with an unknown person is no easy feat.

And even harder when the trusted person needs to suddenly take leave or end therapy.

I have learnt from my experiences, and I had to be well enough to accept this, that therapy has boundaries. Nowadays, I go into therapy with the mindset that it too, will end. That I need to glean as much as I can from it when I'm there and to make the most of it because I won't have it forever.

I feel this little bit of a distance helps me to set realistic expectations.