CH677666Casual Contributor
Is this mania? Or am I looking for attention?
I've been diagnosed with schizophrenia for almost two years and have been on antidepressants since I was 13 but yesterday I started this mood that is like a small little engine that won't leave I had a burst of energy for 4pm till 9:30pm where I was dancing listening to music and sending guys I don't know my nudes on reddit and talking some crazy shit with them thinks I never say or do ever but right now I'm having a calm moment I feel tired like I need to sleep as I only got 4hrs sleep last night maybe I'm just overtired but I'm laughing at things that ain't funny having random bursts of laughter the whole day I have not been able to hold a conversation for more then a few minutes until they let me ramble on about stuff like the cult leader who got me to send him nudes lol or all the men I'm dirty talking but I don't feel like I wanna have sex with them but I do at the same I just did it because I felt out of control but in control at the same time I could of stopped but I didn't I watched a movie with my dad and put the phone away and I'm still feeling like I'm faking everything I do for attention to get attention but I can't stop can you sit down and watch a movie in mania without talking even when you want to say silly stuff but your dad is right there i have bought train tickets for tomorrow to leave this town with nothing but the clothes on my back there is some planning because i have to wait till the train leaves tomorrow but my case manager knows something is not right with me so i cant leave with a bag incase they see me ya know I just have to leave with my phone and clothes on my body tomorrow to another town to be free to feel free when I think about it i feel free when i think about staying home i feel stuck and terrible so i can feel terrible emotions its a mix of emotions i feel right now
Could it be mania? Or the start of it? What do u think?