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TW Anorexia. How do you conceptualise an eating disorder

TW Anorexia. How do you conceptualise an eating disorder

Hope you’re doing well,

34M here trying to find out how other people think about anorexia.

It seems like a common way to think about it is described in the book Life without Ed, where she thinks of the eating disorder as an abusive partner that’s in her head, as a seperate identity that’s trying to convince her to do things that he wants.

I thinks it’s a smart concept that can help people to stop identifying with anorexic impulses.

But I find that in practice I don’t really use the abusive partner idea.

It’s been about 20 years since I fully identified with the impulses that will make me lose weight.

Since then every so often I discover a new way in which I’m still doing things that will make me lose weight.

I can compare it to my experience with colourblindness, where I can’t see green or red but never really notice, it’s not like there’s an obvious black hole where green or red should be.

I’ll wear a purple shirt for years thinking it’s blue until someone tells me.


It’s my mind interpreting purple as blue but that doesn’t mean I can pick up on when it’s doing that, to me it just looks like blue.

The pernicious anorexic impulses I still experience are like that, they are hard for me to spot and painfully obvious once I do, at which point I can mostly use discipline to not give in or change habits.

Until I uncover these impulses for what they are, they just feel like the default, a normal thing to do that makes sense.


Sorry for the rambly-ness of all this, hope it makes sense.

Please let me know what concept helps you to make sense of anorexia.

💜

7 replies

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In response to: TW Anorexia. How do you conceptualise an eating disorder

Re: TW Anorexia. How do you conceptualise an eating disorder

Hey @Seems-positive ,

I wanted to swing pass to let you know that I have read your post several times but I really don't have much to comment in terms of how I'd conceptualise an eating disorder.

Sorry!

I'm open and all ears to what others and yourself share.

In response to: TW Anorexia. How do you conceptualise an eating disorder

Re: TW Anorexia. How do you conceptualise an eating disorder

Hi @Seems-positive

I read your post earlier this evening, you sound like you’ve been in the trenches for a long time now and have some skills to navigate it a little?
I am very much still deep in my anorexia recovery…. Don’t even know if you’d call it recovery as it’s still very much in control. However I recently started participating in a schema therapy group for EDs. It’s bloody hard work. And it’s slow going. But it makes sense to me. Helps me understand. But no real progress yet.

In response to: Re: TW Anorexia. How do you conceptualise an eating disorder

Re: TW Anorexia. How do you conceptualise an eating disorder

Thanks for sharing @Bow .

In response to: Re: TW Anorexia. How do you conceptualise an eating disorder

Re: TW Anorexia. How do you conceptualise an eating disorder

Thanks for your reply. @Bow

You seem to be taking it seriously, that sounds like recovery to me.

What have you learned from schema therapy so far?


Honestly feel like I’ve been really lucky in some ways, I was mostly effected and on board with it from 12 till 18 years old, I didn’t really understand what I was doing back then, just glad to feel more in control of my feelings.

I got an injury at 16 and was too weak to recover from it, at some point I had a strong fever and collapsed just trying to stand, that scared me so much that I starting seeing how serious this was, my family helped me gain weight in the next couple months, my sister even put together an eating schedule 🙏 so sweet.

I think all the support made it a lot easier to just follow along and get stronger.

When I was 18 my mom explicitly asked me if I might have an eating disorder and the acknowledgement of her knowing what I was doing despite hiding it as best I could for about 6 years made something shift in my mind and completely lose interest in aligning myself with the goals of the eating disorder.

In response to: Re: TW Anorexia. How do you conceptualise an eating disorder

Re: TW Anorexia. How do you conceptualise an eating disorder

@tyme That’s ok, I really appreciate you payed attention to it.

In response to: Re: TW Anorexia. How do you conceptualise an eating disorder

Re: TW Anorexia. How do you conceptualise an eating disorder

@Seems-positive nice to meet you.

I have fully recovered from my anorexia and bulimia. I have been in recovery a few years now.

For me conceptualisation the ED as a coping mechanism helped me. I understood that my behaviours were there to help me when things were/felt like they were out of control. The ED served a purpose and figuring out what it gave me helped me start to move through the behaviours and find other ways of coping.

I never understood conceptualisation it as a abusive partner. For me it was more like a codependency. I used it, it used me. If you really want to think it relationship wise. That wasn't most helpful for me.

I had to take ownership of my behaviours, I knew what they were and unlike alienating myself from them. I learnt about them, understood them amd eventually let them go.

In response to: Re: TW Anorexia. How do you conceptualise an eating disorder

Re: TW Anorexia. How do you conceptualise an eating disorder

@The-red-centaur Nice to meet you too 😄thanks for your response, it’s really nice that this community is so active and thoughtful I really appreciate it.

The coping mechanism angle is a good way of looking at it.

I guess if you make the abusive partner idea ambiguous enough it’ll work, but yeah I love hearing about other useful ways of looking at it. Thanks!

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