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The-red-centaurSenior Contributor
TW: Hopelessness
Life.
It doesn't feel with it to continue.
All the pain. The broken piece of shit that's me.
Like...despite all the progress it just doesn't feel right anymore.
How much changes do I have to continue to make. How much longer do I have to fight.
I want to lay down my arms and quit.
It just doesn't feel worth it.
It'd not worth it.
In response to: It just doesn't feel...worth it.
tymeModerator
I'm sorry to hear @The-red-centaur ,
It sounds so strenuous and hard.
What do you think will be helpful for you at the moment?
In response to: It just doesn't feel...worth it.
MJG017Senior Contributor
@The-red-centaurI'm sorry to hear you're feeling this way. I know it's extremely tough when you feel everything is so hopeless. It's difficult but it doesn't mean your broken. We all need support around us at times, as sometimes, when we need it most, it's just not there. Has anything in particular happened recently hat has made you feel this way so strongly, or has it been a long slow build?
You mentioned "despite all the progress", so I take it you were making progress at some stage. I've had plenty of stages during the past couple of years when I've seriously wondered the same thing... "how much longer do I have to fight!?" I know it does wear you down, especially without much support around but I find it helpful to remember the times i've fought the most, the successes i've had along the way, just to remind me that it is worth it to keep fighting because they only way things will get better is to keep fighting.
Do you have anyone close to you you can talk to? Have you tried calling any of the crisis lines and talked to them. Sometimes, when i'm just so exhausted from it all, I find it helps just to talk to another person and feel like someone is listening to me. So i would suggest you reach out to anyone you can... friend, family, or one of the help line services. It's worth a chance that it may help when we're just out of ideas and hope.
So please don't think that you're broken. We all have our limits and when we get close to that point it really helps to reach out and seek some support. You've already started that process by posting here which is a great first step. You're worth it, we're all worth it so please keep reaching out, keep fighting for that progress and most of all don't be too hard on yourself. I think a lot of us here have been at similar points to where you are now, I know I have... more than once, so you're not alone.
In response to: Re: It just doesn't feel...worth it.
tymeModerator
Thank you for that heartfelt response @MJG017 🙂
In response to: It just doesn't feel...worth it.
Unknown userMember
Hello @The-red-centaur sorry to hear youre not doing well emotionally and feel like things are hard going for you. Yes life can be a battle.
What I do know is the build up to the full moon has been a crisis point for many people astrologically speaking. People are very tense and are experiencing all kinds of volatility in their lives. Full moons have a knack of causing chaos. This full moon is also a 'super moon' so its closer to the earth thus further amplifying the effects making it all the more volatile.
I know you have been seriously ill in the psych ward then coming down with pneumonia but don't know how best to support you other than to listen to you and maybe offer something small for those consuming emotions that are engulfing you right now
Just letting you know I have been listening to free radionics/scalar wave music on you tube that transmits the energy of lepidolite crystal ❤️ it uses the energy imprint of the crystal to transfer its metaphysical benefits via sound. I've worked with Lepidolite crystal for years and it generally keeps me calm and serene while the face of trying circumstances. My lepidolite crystal however is soaking out the back in salt water on my patio so can't use it so am listening to this audio instead.
Scalar Wave / Radionics lepidolite sound audio:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sQxqYTFQxVA
Lepidolite is great at regulating how I feel.
Just letting you know the atmosphere will eventually improve once the full moon is over. The overwhelming nature of this energy will start to dissipate.
On Wednesday and Thursday the Sun meets Regulus a potent fixed star that supports action towards getting what you need out of life and attracting/manifesting them quickly
Regulus meets the Sun on the 21st-23rd August so you could use your time in hospital to think, dream those things you really need! 🙂 Its an opportune moment I intend to harness for myself. Use this time of retreat to dream big. Its a benevolent fixed star in the sky and wondrous things can come from aligning your intentions with this placement - the heart of the lion.
Youve been in hospital twice for separate reasons but I sense you have reached the end of your tether and just aren't coping. I am pleased you are being properly cared for though I think you have plenty of resiliency given what youve been through
The Red Centaur I will continue to hold you in my heart with positive intent for your life. You are never alone even though some of the negative things in life leave us feeling raw at times and worse for wear.
You have been incredibly ill and all you want is to just want to find a sense of being your usual self again with adequate supports in life without having to keep fighting. Thats a reasonable request.
In response to: Re: It just doesn't feel...worth it.
The-red-centaurSenior Contributor
@Former-Member @tyme @MJG017
I'm sorry I hadn't replied earlier. I needed a little break to self care and get myself feeling safer again.
I appreciate all the kind words. It means a lit to know I'm not alone and that I matter.
In response to: Re: It just doesn't feel...worth it.
Unknown userMember
You will find you feet again @The-red-centaur. Its been difficult out there. Be patient and kind to yourself. You matter and hold value because you were born. All of human life is worthy. The sun shines equally upon on all of us.
In response to: Re: It just doesn't feel...worth it.
The-red-centaurSenior Contributor
@Former-Member thank you.
In response to: Re: It just doesn't feel...worth it.
MJG017Senior Contributor
No problem at all @The-red-centaur, don't worry about how soon, or even if, you reply... the important thing by far is you take care of yourself. Great to hear you're feeling safer again. We're always here if you want to chat about anything. You're definitely not alone.
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Help us push aside the stigma and discrimination surrounding complex mental health and change the way people talk about, and care for, mental illness.
SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.
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