Newbie's Social Club - Come make some friends!

I enjoy gardening! My whole garden died during my current depressive episode, because I had neglected it, but my mood has picked up a bit these past few days and I’ve started pulling out all the weeds, which is a really good sign for me. I used to love to read but I really struggle to concentrate now, so this week I tried listening to an audiobook instead, which I actually really enjoyed. I wish I could properly read though.

@AnetraI've found it really difficult the past couple of years to keep it up. The people I have the most contact with is my partners family, so I always try to be 'happy' around them, but it's getting harder. About 6 months ago we were sitting outside at her brother's house and everyone decided on by one to go inside until I was left there sitting outside by myself. I would normally join them, just so I looked like I was being sociable and 'normal' I guess. But I found myself just not caring, so I sat out there by myself and thought I really don't care what they think or how it makes me look. That was the first time I knew I was really starting to struggle with keeping the mask on. It's probably why I've found my way back to online forums since then.

I've always found it easier to be myself on forums. I like the extra time I have to compose my thoughts and can take as long as I want to get things as I want. I can reread and edit if needed until I'm happy with what I've written. Face to face, I find much harder. I don't trust myself so I'm very careful about what I say because I can't take anything back if I say the wrong thing, so I tend to not say much. The first time I talked to anyone about how I really am and feel was on an online forum almost 15 years ago so I've always found this format to be far easier to be myself. I feel a bit like a deer in the headlights when talking to people face to face.

good morning @The-red-centaur , @tyme , @Anetra , @Jynx , @MJG017 , @JJll , @Ru-bee

how is everyone today

the sun is shining here which is nice

Hello and welcome @noodles1 , @IndigOverwhelm , @Sam63 , @Sosad01 , @jsbpd , @Andora , @HopeEverlasting , @Bellle , @riotgrrl

Good morning to you @Shaz51 ! Glad to hear the sun is shining for you 🌞

And while I'm here I'd like to say a big welcome to today's newest members:

@Jo888 @hayleyray @Ash21 @Sunchu @LTT45 @KathrineJaneway @Jitiy @gongalicious @Anne1902 @Alison38 and to any brand new members that I may have missed

It can be a bit hard to know where to start on the forums so feel free to introduce yourself here and ask any questions you may have 😁

So great to see new and established members connecting on here already @MJG017 @tyme @Jynx @The-red-centaur @JJll @Anetra

hello and welcome @Alice6 , @Lustig

how are you going today

Struggling at the moment, that’s why I found this site. Hoping it helps in some form or other. Thx for the welcome.

Sorry to hear you are having a hard day my friend 🧡 @Lustig

Here for you if you like to chat about it

@Ru-bee

I’m really struggling too. My work environment has become super unsafe for me so I’m on unpaid leave, my long term therapist told me that all the support he had been providing for me between sessions, he didn’t actually want to provide but he didn’t know how to say no (and this ended up extending to our therapy sessions as well). I feel unsafe and lonely at home. I’m just not sure what to do. It sort of feels like the world is against me but I don’t want to act like a victim. I’m just not sure how to fix these things.

Hello @Alice6 and @Lustig

I'm sorry to hear that you're both struggling at the moment, but I'm glad to see that you've both found this space and have been able to take the time to express your feelings right now.

@Alice6 , when you say that work and home are feeling unsafe right now, are you feeling physically unsafe right now, or is this more of a lack of emotional safety?

@Lustig, you mention hoping that the forums can be helpful, and I'm wondering what "helpful" might look like for you? It can be a good question for all our new forum members to consider. I know it can be hard to articulate sometimes, but when you find the words I encourage all our new members to let the forums know how you'd like to be supported

It’s more emotionally unsafe. I guess I’m hoping the forums will give me a chance to connect with others and maybe get some encouragement or hear some stories from others about how things do get better even though it doesn’t feel that way right now.