Grief and guilt of mental illness

I have had chronic paranoid Sz for over 40 years now and am well stabilized on medication. However over that long period I have noticed in others with mental illness and myself too that an inability to let go of the past is very common and I have had my fair share of dwelling in the past or dwelling on past failures or bad events. I too lament what I have lost due to mental illness and a lot of people I've met over the years seem to have the same feelings of loss and regret about what they once were and what they are left with now after the onset of mental illness. It's very helpful to be able to see a good psychologist about dealing with grief and loss issues since even these days if you see your local GP doctor and arrange a mental health care plan with them you can have up to ten visits to a psychologist per year that are paid for by Medicare and will cost you nothing for each visit. It's usually necessary to know which psychologist you want to see prior to arranging a mental health care plan with your GP and initial selection of a psychologist is sometimes difficult and confusing. If there is any local mental health support group in your local area they might be able to advise of a suitably experienced practitioner or even SANE Australia might be able to help in some way. It's worth remembering that a psychiatrist is just a specialist doctor and will mostly be about prescribing medication and most psychiatrists simply don't provide much formalized psychotherapy.

Hi @mel84

I love the idea that @Sahara has presented about getting some studies - doing a semestre at uni would be great - or if your academic background isn't up to that you can do a course to prepare you for your year 12 - depending on your interests - or a short course in something else

People can be wonderfully aware of our abilties and totally ignorant of our lack of them - like a story I tell sometimes about people seeing an old mad sitting on the curb holding his boots and everyone is saying

"You will just have to pull yourself up by your own bootstraps"

And he replies

"I would too - if I could get my boots on over my bunions"

Yes - people love to interfer - I was into studying for my career and when was I going to get a boyfriend? eventually I got one then When was I going to get engaged? and we did and then When were we going to get married? So we did then When are you going to have a baby? and I couldn't and didn't and we adopted a child then When were we going to have another one?

And somehow we seemed to have our second child and the questions stopped but still there were reasons for criticism and I think there are people in society who can hardly wait to have negative comments on our lives if we live outside the social norms and I do - and I have long ago learned to live here happily

Time itself is a great teacher - and I have learned not to worry about what other people think because people are too busy worrying about what I think of them - and I do my best to keep away from vexatious people and keep to myself and yes - I have spent a lot of time away from my family and for me - it is better this way - though I am close to my daughter and her family

While you build your own life - find people you like - one way to find out what we are like is to look at the people we like - and I daresay you don't like the people who have been so cruel and uncaring

The thought of people with acute MIs being locked away for however long sounds as if people are punished - and if punished enough the idea is that people will find a better way to live. I think most people do want to find a better way to live - but this is gained when people treat us kindly

We will treat you kindly here Mel

Decadian

Hello @mel84 @Decadian @Geronimo @Sahara @Former-Member

i felt so many different emotions when I read through your posts.

I have borne chronic, clinical, major depression, ptsd, anxiety for many many years. That is not important here.

what is important is that I felt such fury and rage in reading how you have been mistreated by so many people in your young years.

How dare they I find myself saying. Families can be the cause of so much pain in their trying to cover up their own feelings of discomfort, not being able to face truths. You will read of such experiences time and time again on this site.

friends advising .... well no need to say too much here....we learn who we decide to keep in our lives and who we need to remove... true friends listen and are there for you when you need them to be. They let you know how important you are to them.

as for the medical system.... this is the part of your story that enrages me. this is the part that makes my blood boil..........again how dare they treat you that way. They are meant to be there to help us.

I want to tell you how strong, courageous, brave and intelligent you are.

you have survived all of the above. You did not create or cause your illness.

you have found us on here and as @Decadian has said welcome to your new circle of friends which will grow. I reaffirm there will be no judgement on here.

I want to pass something on to you, that I found somewhere, cant remember where. Here it is:

You stay kind, committed to love

and free in your authenticity

no matter what they do or say

dont you dare doubt your worth.

I carry this with me in my purse, everywhere.

Have you heard of or seen the film " pay it forward". A beautiful story.

Perhaps you would like to pay it forward to someone in need. No hurry.

They are everywhere.

Forage around the site and read posts of others. I found doing that a great help.

One day at a time my friend.

keep writing someone will respond. hope to read more of your new journey.