Voices

Hi @RichardRichard welcome to the forums, what you described can definitely be scary and challenging. This is a great supportive environment and I am sure you will get some good support here. There are also some other good threads you can have a look at as well. I know it can be scary, but can also be a relief and good support to reach out to health professionals if things get worse for you they can be there to help. Once again, welcome to the forums.

Hi @RichardRichard ,

I too have started hearing voices in a recent psychotic episode and can identify with what you are saying. I wanted to respond to let you know you are not alone.

To tell you my story, I had a diagnosis of 'drug induced psychosis' in my early 20s. I had a lot of paranoid thinking, disorganised thoughts and some aggression in interpersonal relationships. No voices. I had been medicated and went through therapy.

I originally never understood what people meant by "hearing voices". I didn't understand how that was possible or part of my condition. I had always explained my own condition as being that I had an internal monologue that sometimes was overstimulated but that I was always able to distinguish that a 'thought' is distinctly different to a 'sound'.

For most of my adult life I had been a "high functioning" schizophrenic. I took my medication I was prescribed. I was able to get a job, performing well and working my way through up promotions. My family life was good. For the most part, I continued to recreationally use drugs (moderate use) with only isolated periods of abuse (high use), but no real escalation of symptoms. I have always struggled with romantic relationships, but otherwise, I was mostly able to conceal my condition. I had long periods of well with only some small periods of turbulence.

Fast forward 20 years. I'm now 40, started hearing voices and a confirmed schizophrenia diagnosis. I had a deterioration in my mental health and some challenges on multiple fronts (work stress & issues, family stress & issues, and changes in friendship circles leading to social isolation). Initially, I was able to challenge it as a hallucination and that it wasn't real.

At the time I started to become unwell, I was using medicinal cannabis under the guidance of a doctor for sleep issues, depression and anxiety, as I deteriorated I ceased the cannabis, but continued to go downhill even after stopping and when I took my regular medication.

The voices were specific people. People I knew from all across my life. Most were alive. There was 2 who were people who had deceased.

As I deteriorated, I too formed a delusion that they were real and clandestine, and that I couldn't talk about it with mental health care professionals for a fear of some consequence.

Due to observations by family members, I was involuntarily hospitalised which was an absolute nightmare of an experience. The circumstances by which I was admitted (ie. no one explained why I was going into hospital) exacerbated my symptoms (the voices became more frequent) and created further distrust with the doctors (I was even more scared of telling them what was going on) which complicated treatment.

My best advice (as scary as it is) you should talk to someone about the voices you are experiencing, whether it's a healthcare professional (I feel safer talking to psychologists than doctors myself), a trusted friend or an anonymous forum (as you are doing here).

My result of not talking about it was that it escalated, I was hospitalised, and when I commenced treatment I was unresponsive to medication for a long time because of how far gone I'd become (the idea in my head that I couldn't talk about it only continued to escalate even when I commenced medication).

Acting on voices also caused issues in interpersonal relationships. For example, I heard voices telling me that I couldn't hug my family members when they came to visit me in hospital.

My recovery only started after I left hospital, I recommenced old medications that have worked for most of my life and had the least unfavourable side effects (all antipsychotics seem to have pretty bad side effects - the lesser of all evils), and once I started talking to family members and telling them I was hearing voices it created understanding that started to heal the rifts in relationships which had occurred when I was unwell.

Hope this helps and know you are not alone. It is a scary experience, but there is help and I found although it's very scary to talk about, commencing talking about it has been critical to my recovery.

Thank you for sharing. This is one area I have limited understanding, so it's great to hear your experiences @Former-Member

• Thank you so much for your response. I can relate to a number of things you have touched on. I have read over it a number of times and would like respond again when I have the time to gather my thoughts.
• You have articulated your experience so well. It sounds like you are doing well now?

@RichardRichard I am doing better now.

There was a significant breadth to all the issues I was experiencing. I was (and still am) finding it hard to articulate the bits that are relevant. That is getting better as time goes on.

The voices have stopped as a start.

I have started talking about my symptoms which helps make me realise they were delusions and hallucinations because I realise how crazy they sound when I tell people.

I've now started with a new doctor who seems good on an initial appointment and I have a follow up appointment to get a mental health care plan and a referral to a psychologist. I have recommenced old medications which have worked in the past. Although I deteriorated on those same medications, I feel they are now working, and they are contributing to the reduction in my symptoms.

@RichardRichard I can also relate to how you described it by feeling like the voices were on a conference group call discussing your every move and action.

It felt like people were on some kind of collaboration or meeting tool (Zoom or Skype). There was a false belief they could also see what I see (either through my eyes) or externally (a camera watching me).

I once belonged to a hearing voices group through community mental health. When we had the commentary hallucinations, we made our lives more boring until they left us alone. The voices are widely believed to be a telepathic I connection and it is possible to learn to live with them.