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creative_writerSenior Contributor
Having a history of SA, romantic relationships make me queasy. The idea of the relationship being central to fulfilling another person’s sexual desire makes me uneasy and makes me feel like an object. There may be people out there who are on the same level as me, but I feel most guys will want more than I’m willing to give. I haven’t ever been in a romantic relationship so I have no idea what’s expected
In response to: TW: Trauma and relationships
GlistenSenior Contributor
@rav3n so true. Every word you wrote, totally on point.
More power to women in support and solidarity 💞
G
In response to: TW: Trauma and relationships
Captain24Senior Contributor
Everyone is different @creative_writer.
I understand about not being able to disclose it. More than you realise.
I do hope you find the someone.
In response to: TW: Trauma and relationships
creative_writerSenior Contributor
In response to: Re: TW: Trauma and relationships
GlistenSenior Contributor
@creative_writer it is completely normal to crave connection. I hate being on my own.
I know what I need and want in a relationship.
G
In response to: Re: TW: Trauma and relationships
rav3nSenior Contributor
@creative_writer i think connecting to people is not as easy as people make it seem, perhaps you're putting some pressure on yourself to find your person?
i'm curious to know, where do you usually search for companions? (i.e. at work, through mutual friends, etc)
i struggle to feel safe around people too, it takes a lot of time for me to open up to people because my trust has been broken so many times in the past. i don't think that means i'm unworthy or the problem. i promise you are worthy. its a matter of finding the right people, it can take time to identify who is and who isn't worth your time in the long run.
In response to: Re: TW: Trauma and relationships
RainbowzebraContributor
Wow did I write this post? I completely feel the same way. I never want to have sex ever again. I also want that safety and companionship you get from another person. If I could find somebody to be like a best friend who would live with you and not fall in love with somebody else and support you like a good romantic relationship should be but without the pressure of having sex I would be so happy.
I have no useful advice because I'm completely in the same boat. I have got to that point in my life where all my friends are in relationships/ married/ have children and is a lonely place to be when you realise that friendship is not enough because their significant others will always be more important to your friend than you are.
I don't know what the answer is unfortunately. Unless perhaps you can find somebody else who is ace and therefore has the same values?
In response to: Re: TW: Trauma and relationships
Eden1919Senior Contributor
Hi @creative_writer i am aroace and there is nothing to be ashamed of if you are ace also it is completely possible to identify as ace because of trauma, having trauma does not stop you from being able to identify as being ace if that is what feels most comfortable for you. Relationships without sex are completely possible and legitimate your psych is wrong on that note. You don’t even have to find another ace person to have a relationship with just someone willing to accept your boundaries. It is also ok to not want to have a relationship at all. My advice would be to look into the ace community if you think it is something that fits for you, you may just find some nice people you can connect with and if you had any questions about being ace or aro feel free to tag me and I will try my best to answer.
In response to: Re: TW: Trauma and relationships
creative_writerSenior Contributor
In response to: Re: TW: Trauma and relationships
GlistenSenior Contributor
@creative_writer is your psychologist trauma experienced?
Do you know what you need?
G
In response to: Re: TW: Trauma and relationships
creative_writerSenior Contributor
Help us push aside the stigma and discrimination surrounding complex mental health and change the way people talk about, and care for, mental illness.
SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.
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Help us push aside the stigma and discrimination surrounding complex mental health and change the way people talk about, and care for, mental illness.
SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.
SANE values diversity. We are committed to providing a safe, culturally appropriate, and inclusive service for all people, regardless of their ethnicity, faith, disability, sexuality, or gender identity.
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