Cycle - Fear of triggering myself

I did a double up post in "Something's Not Right" forum as I didn't understand the group type distinction for my post. If this post disappears see the other forum.

All good. I can remove the other one? @Andarna

Awwww @Andarna ,

I'm sorry to hear about your dog. It sounds like you were best friends. I read how hard this anniversary is for you.

Grief can sometimes have a mind of its own. There's not end time to when you will finally stop grieving. It can affect us in different ways.

I'm sorry to hear of your struggles and eventual hospitalisation. Do you have any professional supports you can speak to about what's happening for you? Sometimes, they may be able to put some strategies in place during the more difficult times, just to help you through.

We are here for you my dear. It sounds so hard for you right now yet we acknowledge your strength in reaching out and sharing.

I know how you feel my sister was diagnosed with ADHD and ASD. To be honest I didn't think much in it besides it might be a slight possibility I had ADHD but my understanding of what ADHD was still very 90's knowledge. It was only until my relationship did break down with my(m41 at the time) ex(f40) perpetrating violence against me.

I've experienced all the fun hurdles and disrespect that comes along with being in my position including one incredulous boss speaking to me about my situation telling me in a very polite and tactful manager to essentially suck it up. I've experienced the feeling to much of ADHD all my life the disregulation of emotion under stress or traumatic events is what led me down the ADHD rabbit hole. It was shocking to read information that the whole perception on ADHD had changed since I was a child and looking at the direct parallels in my life to others lived experience my entire life I had had this overarching arch nemesis living inside of me namely my brain. Im trying to get diagnosed but only one person in my area does adult assessments on the PBS and it's going to be a while to see them. Unfortunately I can't afford private.

But I understand how you feel even without an official diagnosis I can almost certainly say I do because I've started to n notice more the things that I do that point to it.

Ps. also if you haven't been directed to it before the ADDitude site is an incredible resource for people looking for answers life tips coaching and coping for people in your situation.

If you did need someone to talk to, if you're desperate lo,l with experiences like your own and battling the same enemy inside you I can try, even though I have barely started my own healing just having an understanding ear can make all the difference sometimes. I know I've struggled to find some even within my own family or social circles

Hi @Penthe ,

Thank you for sharing your story and the resources you find helpful.

I want to use this space to welcome you to our community. Our team and all the community members are here to support you all through your journey. We hope you will be able to find the support you need from here.

Sending you virtual hugs @Andarna

I relate to your fear of self triggering so much, I get the same around anniversaries of sad or traumatic events and fear the worst for myself, particularly the anniversary of my hospitalisation and lost loved ones. Thankfully the fear and anxiety of how I might cope is always worse than how I actually cope and over time I've learned to trust myself more. You are not alone.

I'm so sorry for the loss of your beautiful doggo 💜

@tyme

I did manage to finally come off a very very long waitlist for a specialist psychologist, but I now have to make decisions on how to/went to transition as she doesn't recommend keeping two psychologists unless there topic areas are extremely different but they aren't (overlap) so it would be "messy"/confusing. I have been with my psychologist for 3 years and I'm not good with change but I know it's for the better, however I feel bad leaving as she knows so much and in the moment I know I'll probably change my mind to delay confrontation.

I'm not recommending anything, but I'm sharing my experiences here (I apologise if I've shared it in the past already). I had 2 psychologists for a very long time. It was the best thing when I was really needing it. One psychologist worked on the immediate challenges whereas the other worked on what was needed in terms of long-term therapy for recovery. @Andarna I worked very well for me. On top of that, I had a MBT clinician (psychologist) who I saw for 3.5 hours every week.

No, it wasn't confusing for me. Each had their own niche and own therapy technique. There are so many different type of therapy out there. It's important you find what works for you. You may get a 'specialist psych', but if the rapport and technique is not suitable, it may not be as effective as the other one.

No pressure. I'm just sharing my experiences.

@Penthe

Thank you I'd appreciate it, I struggle actually reaching out or remembering to check in sometimes but I know I need to.

I was diagnosed ASD this year and ADHD 2 years ago, but I definitely went through/ still going through lots of different stages of perception over my different life events and trying to relearn who I am unmasked.

There was me masked struggling in crisis, then me 100% unmasked fragile burnout cPTSD and now I don't know what I look like not in burnout unmasked. Yes the trauma will still be there but I don't know what my unmasked baseline of my identity is as I've masked my entire life.

To me the autism, ADHD, central auditory processing traits blend with the anxiety and stress traits are all heightened by traumas. So where does one stop and another start?

There isn't enough support in the health sector for neuroaffirming care and training, and I get too overwhelmed as I get left to do it myself with no help so I get shutdown everytime I try to get anywhere. I need NDIS support to to have a social worker to help my apply for NDIS, and I need someone that understands neurodivesity because most of the mental health government sector won't touch neurodevelopmental as it's not their department and they aren't trained (legal liability with staff training I'm assuming or whatever).