Hi, I'm new and didn't think I would find myself stepping backwards

thankyou!

i really like that Hole story!

its like my relapses over the years....you learn then go backwards then learn then go backwards and you keep learning more and eventually you wont relapse again! i hope!

2 steps forward one step back is a pattern. but still, over time, like a graph, the trajectory is up. it has to be.

stayingsane, how strange i also listened to that gent about two nights ago at 3am on the radio, I laughed and cried sometimes both at the same time he was amazing, and his voice, you certainly could not become bored with it and you could not foretell what he was about to say.

loopy

@stayingsane

Hi there,

I'm Rick. I can dig it.

It's isolating and then we isolate ourselves. Vicious circle.

As Loppy said there are a lot of us in the void here too. I know that for myself I do take some comfort in knowing that others have been here before me and others will follows after me.

It does'nt make the symptoms go away but half of our problem is how we react to the symptoms do you think?

Coming to a place like this is positive. It's a type of acceptance around our own worth.

Just because we have acute times doe'nt reflect a lack of worth. We are worth just as much ill as when we are well.

The best we can do sometimes is to accept what's going on without taking away our value as decent people.

There are so many people in the world who are not decent. Who are mean and cruel and nasty.

Be pleased with yourself for not being that type.

You are not weak, the weak could never endure the things we endure.

You still have the courage to hope. That is inspiring to all who meet you. This is important to recognise. It adds to your worth.

So from what I can acsertain you are great worth.

From worth comes hope

And Hope endures

Rick

Hi All.

Well it's the 4th of January. I had three days off work and did not know how I would survive the long days. I slept half of every day and then went to the beach most afternoons as it was so hot in melbourne. i am trying to interact with people and 1:1 is the easiest, but i have nothing to say except how bad I feel. My parents are overseas and I dont want to tell them too much coz its a much needed break for my mum to be away and living her dream. they are back in 2 weeks. so my sister is my main support. i went to see a friend yesterday and there were other people there, and i survived 2 to 3 hours fake smiling and laughing and then she said do i want to come out to dinner and i said "no i have to go home i just have to be alone" and went home and then sis and boyfriend arrived home and id wanted some space to myself but there never is any.

the most time i get alone is at work in the office, as im usually working alone and clients arent often needing me so i get to write here, and be alone. which is a relief. but i know im isolating myself and withdrawing further. and i know sometimes its my paranoia but people are reacting to it. to my mood. i am just wondering how long this crisis is going to last, ive been unsettled since november when i got back from overseas, and lots of change and emotions has put me in this state.

i have to say, it is very BORING and i do not see ANY of the positives of living with mental health problems. it stops me from many interesting things and meeting people and having spontaneity. there are not positives to this. its impacted my 29 years. i turn 30 in 3 months, this is another source of anxiety.

folks im not sure where to go with this. not sure at all. feeling very negative and not seeing a light at the end of the tunnel. but i am not at risk of self-harm. these feelings im having and living through the many hours of every day are just terrifying.

thankyou xxx

@stayingsane

Hi Staying sane

Just read your post and my heart truly goes out to you. I can taste the frustration!

And you are correct! There no or very few postives when one is having an acute episode. That exactly is how we feel.

May I offer a mangement statedgy?

Before visiting fiends try and tee up a 1:1 meeting. This makes it easier for you and then your friends can offer you support because at least with 1:1 you don't need to grin and bare it, yeah?

This will decrease your isolation and works as a management stategy. It will also make coming home a bit easier.

Unfortunately I can't tell you how long this episode will last. It's not only because everyone is different but also because episodes can vary each time.

Can I offer another suggestion. It's important that you don't read this the wrong way. If you are hypervigilant I need to take that into account.

I'M NOT SAYING DON'T POST ABOUT YOUR STUFF. kEEP POSTING, IT'S IMPORTANT TO VENT.

What I am saying is that when I'm not well, like now I'm not well, I just read other peoples posts and when I feel it's ok I try to offer what little support I can.

On a therapeutic level this is known as Distraction Therapy. It works by taking that incredibly keen focus which is a product of your experience and your intellect and you use it outside of yourself. Often that same focus can make things harder for ourselves because of it's narrow beam. Yeah?

I do this. I find it helps. The time flys by and for a while I'm distracted from myself. This is a relief. Those many hours in the day because less because I'm not involuntarily focused on them.

This is just a technique for getting through times in the day. For me it helps.

If you try I hope that it works for you too.

And in the end hope even when it's dark outside, endures

Rick

thanks for the advice.

its true that helping others helps yourself. ive found that alot in the past.

its a very hot day in melbourne and i have just got out of bed. so am very sweaty and hot and realising "hey you have got to eat even if you dont feel like it."

i feel my functioning is very low. but yesterday i went to hot springs with a handful of friends and survived. i felt sad for myself hearing about everyones lives but i got through it. and i called lifeine the other day! first time. he was a nice guy on the other end. and i even laughed at how silly my anxiety is and he laughed and i was glad he did. coz its ridiculous.

i just want it to be nighttime again to be honest. and dont want anyone to turn up at the house. coz i look a state!

I'm glad you went out, I'm glad you called lifeline. I have confidence issues and find it hard to walk out the front door - but you did it - wahoooooooo. Lifeline are good - expecially being volunteers.

Im sorry, my minds just gone sad - I dont want to be me, Im not ringing lifeline because I have children. I always feel ugly - but after 7 years I have finally got a job - so there must be something good about me - lol.

We all feel down, unloved, useless, used etc - but and yes there's a but - do something you don't want to. Open that front door and get the mail - go to the shop and get milk - exercise......

I'm babbling because im insecure and shy. I dont feel I can talk to real people - even my husband.

Hiya,

Thanks for sharing your story. Anxiety isn't a joke. Unless the person you were talking too had experienced it - fair enough.

You have friends !!!!!!!!! You went to a spa with friends during the heatwave - wow - now that is an amazing achievement. I don't have many people that I would call friends.

Even now, I'm at home with my husband and he's not talking to me and I don't know why. He has been diagnosed with Meloncholic Depression (excuse the spelling), hence he is amotivated, but very attached to me. I havent worked for 6 years - he's been pushing me and finally I got one. Now he's unhappy because I'm not home.

I still need to take my anti anxiety meds before work but hopefully, once i've settled in I can reduce them.

Anxiety is an issue I am passionate about - others dont understand - they say your just nervous, butterflies in your stomach - nup. Anxiety can stop you from living, stops you from keeping in touch with friends etc - you know what I mean.

Anyway - well done and stay with us mate !!!!!!!!