@Former-Member
You are not alone, I too struggle with closeness and intimacy and no trust in people what so ever.
From 8 my father was abusive physcially, emotionally, and mentally, my mother a narcassist who didnt care and just enabled him, my sister the same, at the age of 8 my sister's boyfriend was beating her up and I tried to save her with an umbrella ( I was only about 6) and he nearly beat me up, my mothers boyfriend after my parents split up was total pyscho who used to try and hypnotise us and use it to his advantage and so many more bad instances with men in general.
Most of my issues with my partner is because of these issues and I feel to scared to confide in him about my feelings and tend to treat him sometimes like I'm getting back at the others. I also had a horrible uncle at the age of 8 who tried to tongue kiss me all the time so now I have issues with my partner about kissing and have real problems to the extent of having anxiety attacks whilst trying.
So believe me I feel as screwed up as you, maybe others feel just the same but are unable to voice it so they seem strong but its just a mask. We just have to keep putting one foot in front of the other and keep trying.
Maybe with this cute guy just take little steps to build your confidence, start talking to him more and more slowly until you feel more comfortable ro say what you want.
Take care