p3rsonaCasual Contributor
admitting i have substance abuse issues for the first time
6 days ago i told a close friend for the first time that, while it’s no secret i’ve always had an unhealthy relationship with cannabis since a teen, i have also been abusing dexamphetamine for the past 3 years. i was abusing them before i got prescribed them. when i was prescribed them i would still have to spend large amounts of money on them to keep my supply running the way i liked it, which was as much as possible. i am so financially unstable, my relationship with my family is so important to me but it’s strained because of my inability to get my shit together. i used to get so much work and people have stopped calling because i stopped answering long ago. i cannot wake up. sometimes i will fall asleep for almost a whole day and then just go back to sleep. it has become impossible to come up with answers when i’m asked what i’ve been up to. i know my family wants me to say something which reflects my potential.
i’m telling my parents tomorrow night and just so overwhelmed by it all. i’ve got an assessment booked in for a rehab and am going to book with another to compare wait times. i know that the only way i can have a chance at maintaining my abstinence from substances is if i go away somewhere and really confront what i’ve been running from my whole life. without having to put on a face to go to work. i’ve been talking to a drug counsellor from the alcohol and drug helpline who’s been really helpful. she said my challenge is to get more support, especially from people who understand. no part of my body wants to have this conversation with my parents, but i have a deep inner knowing that i have to do this now. i don’t want to live like this. i know it could be better. i’m just finding it hard to believe right now, would really appreciate any words of wisdom 🫶
