Best Friends Club

@Former-Member I definitely know it is more than just lack of sleep hun, and I am sorry if it seemed I was implying that 'Oh you're just tired, skippedy doo da!' because that's not gonna help anyone!! Just more reflecting on the ways I tend to try to reassure myself whenever my emotions are being buttheads but I can't figure out why. Sometimes, trying to figure out why ends up stressing me out even more than I was to begin with!! Hence encouraging affirmations and self-reassurance.

Thought I'd recommend checking out ARCVIC if you haven't already. May not be entirely helpful in the midst of a panic attack if they're happening at night, but their helpline is open during the day and they're pretty awesome.

@Jynx no you're fine, I know you weren't implying it at all. Sorry if it came across that i thought that was. Its just exhausting to constantly feel like this and it feels like it's never going to change. I just feel like history is repeating itself and that part really scares me.

Thankyou for the link. I'm not in Victoria though. I managed to get myself in bed but now I'm wife awake and have a million thoughts, feelings and emotions racing through me.

@rav3n Hmm idk I guess just seeing pets both in real life and on Instagram/youtube in general?

I don’t know if walking outside (even in nature) makes me feel necessarily connected though because a lot of the times when I do that whilst being depressed I usually get low energy from it.

another thing that I guess makes me feel connected is daydreaming…about myself getting emotionally comforted by someone whilst I cry in bed

@Former-Member all good! Just wanted to make sure you didn't think I was just throwing useless platitudes at you haha.

I totally know the feeling, I've had this like... sense of dread that comes up whenever those particular familiar feelings start popping up. It's hard not to feel like it means a spiral is inevitable hey - but no future is set in stone! And even if it does feel all too familiar, you will be different to who you were back then.

Oh! And @Former-Member ARCVIC is based in Victoria but their helpline is national, so you can call from wherever. They run support groups and stuff too - some of which I do believe run online!

@Jynx it's so hard to not get that sense of dread when things start going bad. The fact that I've been down this path before and everything is so very familiar but also so very different, it's hard to make sense of things. Things are spiralling out of control and i don't know how I'm supposed to stop it.

@Former-Member does it help you to remind yourself of the ways you have gotten through times like this in the past? Or you could do a little stocktake of the things that are different this time around?

@Jynx no cos when things were bad like this before it didn't end well. If anything things are worse than they were before.

@Former-Member you not bothering anyone.

If you went to bed would you feel safer ?

@PeppyPatti I'm not so sure about that.

I don't feel safe anywhere. I'm in bed now but just completely overwhelmed with everyone.