Best Friends Club

Ugh sounds exhausting @Glisten but good on you for standing up for your needs! How you feeling now its sent? Relieved? Still got the irk lurking?

Thanks for explaining that @Oaktree ....the expansion with the ships or the pyramid was Battle For Azeroth. But yes, I can definitely see how it would be easy to get addicted to WoW. Good on you for recognising that.

@Glisten, echoing @Jynx and their sentiments, well done for taking a stand. It gets very tiring when you have your own work to do, then someone puts their pile on you.

Hope you're doing well xo 🍅

@Jynx @ENKELI I was trying to think of a funny response, that’s what trauma people do, right? To downplay the situation.

As a child being groomed to be a People Pleaser, is what has made life so difficult.

I have worked very hard to evolve.

I am not her.

Boundaries - Got to have them. Got to use them.

@Jynx so relieved to wanted to crack a bottle of Lemonchello 🍾

💞

@Glisten yes, I call it gallows humour.

I know I have childhood trauma, with my dad leaving us and returning to WA from Canberra. I didn't hear from him between the ages of 5 and 12, then he came back and tried to be a partial dad.

I've always known that my brother was mums' favourite child despite him being an absolute horror. She's often been very critical of me but I have never heard her criticise my bro.

Growing up in his shadow was pretty awful, plus the feelings of rejection. My maternal grandfather is the only male that has been in my life who didn't reject me.

I took ages to trust anyone and slowly opened up to ex friend, lost all of my friends bar 1 and am still recovering.

All I can say is that I am thankful for you and everyone else here on Sane. I have never felt rejected here and I still struggle with that.

Anyway enough of my rambling. You can tell I don't have any friends with the way I go on can't ya?! Lol!

@Glisten Heck yes, I am SO HERE for this kind of self-empowerment!!

Also, I love me a bit of gallows humour too!! @ENKELI

Thought occurred 🤔 is gallows humour always an attempt to downplay the situation? I've definitely seen it called an unhealthy coping tool. But I think I disagree... Laughing is an emotional expression, no? And like, I read that our humour is one of the ways we cope with distress and absurdity - think of a baby being thrown and caught by a parent. In that small moment in the air, the baby would initially be terrified, but when they're safely caught, it is massive relief for their survival system and that comes out as laughter! I genuinely think that like any coping tool, it is helpful when used in a balanced/moderated way, and becomes unhealthy if we become over-reliant on it or use it as a way to avoid our emotions rather than express them.

Okay, ramble doneski!! 😝

Aww @ENKELI rejection HURTS babe, especially when it's after we decided to be open again - woulda been like getting hit with all the childhood pain all over again hey.

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@ENKELI wrote:

I've always known that my brother was mums' favourite child despite him being an absolute horror. She's often been very critical of me but I have never heard her criticise my bro.

Growing up in his shadow was pretty awful, plus the feelings of rejection.

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Ooh, I literally was reading about the 'fav child' in this book I'm delving into - cannot recommend it enough, even if it is an emotionally heavy read!! But yeah, not sure if your parents were 'emotionally immature' but if you reckon so, this might be relevant:

So if you WEREN'T the favourite, it's likely because you were more emotionally mature than your parent/s could deal with! But please correct me if I'm barking up the wrong book 😋

*curls up in the corner and cries*

@Glisten

Sounds like that text to women's/men's shed had enuf great boundaries in it to shine your life right to end of the year.

I dunno......if I was you you could maybe feel pleased you wrote such a great text.

@ENKELI @Oaktree @avant-garde @Jynx @Glisten @TAB can you believe you were able to write such words at the end of the year ? Cool.

Hope things get better for you @avant-garde was just passing through

Ide say @ENKELI - it looks like my two youngest brothers are definately the favourites but as my older younger brother said one day to me, " "hey ! Why aren't you talking properly ? What is the matter with you ? Remember I was there too !!

And a few other choise words.

@ENKELI after all those years where Mum did this did that --------

It's the end of the year.

You are a very very special lady.

I agree agree with the book. Emotional maturity is tough and you achieve it.

You work on yourself.

I feel like I want to ask you how did you do today ?

Can you tell me one thing positive today ?

Xx