Thanks to all..and a bit of advice...

Thank you deeply to anyone who's supported or commented in the past weeks. I've fallen off the horse a few times, and reneged on my decisions but am looking at a place tomorrow and have somehwere to stay until I can move in there, assuming it works out. I have a few other irons in the fire too, as back up. I just wanted to say to anyone who decides to leave an abusive relationship - don't ever stop planning and trying your hardest.. to move on.. and forward. I've changed my mind several times and just don't punish yourself for not leaving - by staying!!

You deserve better and there's a lot of psychological stuff to sort out when leaving but do it. A psychologist said to me this week - you might be moving somewhere that isn't what you're used to, but if you have peace at night, you'll be happier and better off. Alice.