StarshineSenior Contributor
Coping with lonlieness
Hi just wondering if anyone else feels lonely
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Coping with lonlieness
93 replies
In response to: Coping with lonlieness
StarshineSenior Contributor
Re: Coping with lonlieness
I guess sometimes humour can help
In response to: Re: Coping with lonlieness
Unknown userMember
Re: Coping with lonlieness
Hi @Starshine
I am so glad you joined this forum - there are many genuine caring people here to converse with that eases the lonliness.
I do understand not trusting anyone. I suffered childhood abuse and had a huge wall up where no one could enter and I could never really be myself around people. Although believing I felt safe it was very painful and oppressive. I have only recently learned to bring that wall down and be myself. And I enjoy the company of others but before I trust anyone I get to know them very well first before I allow anyone closer.
I lived on a farm for 10 years and found people where very friendly in the rural town I lived in. But it was essential that I made the effort to join interest and community groups. There were some difficult people but I would warm to the more positive friendlier ones. There are a lot of people who join these groups looking for company too and there is usually always someone happy to talk.
I joined a garden club and joined craft groups. There were also the Country women's assoc and group dinners and dances that I attended. I really had to put myself out there to ease the isolation and went back to the groups I felt more comfortable in. What are your interests?
A great way to connect with others and feel appreciated at the same time is to volunteer in the community. Is there an opportunity for you to do that?
I found isolating myself caused much anxiety in me - that eased when I pushed myself to attend different groups and activities.
We look forward to getting to know you 😊
In response to: Coping with lonlieness
StarshineSenior Contributor
Re: Coping with lonlieness
Hi how did you find the cwa? I was thinking about it and doing some volunteer work sorting through clothes at a charity shop but am really worried about rejection
In response to: Coping with lonlieness
utopiaSenior Contributor
Re: Coping with lonlieness
Hi @Starshine. Yes I get lonely. But I need to sort out what I'm lonely for.
Sometimes I'm lonely for a partner to share my life with - that someone special who lovesme for me.
Sometimes I'm lonely for friendships - people to go out with and have a meal and chat with.
Often I'm lonely for deep meaningful conversations. That's a hard one where I live.
I moved from Melbourne 5 years ago to a small country town - under 3,000 people. Everyone knows everyone. Many stick together. Many make incorrect judgement calls and gossip. Most are old traditional farming stock.
I'm a greeny. A tree hugger. A meditator. A deep thinker. Passionate about causes affecting the planet and our people. So it's not always easy to fit in.
But there is the odd person here and there that I can have a deep conversation with about one of my passions.
For the most part, I'm missing that connection with a special friend or partner - that is on the same intellectual path as me - and who holds the same values.
It's lonely some times.
Sometimes I'm lonely for a partner to share my life with - that someone special who lovesme for me.
Sometimes I'm lonely for friendships - people to go out with and have a meal and chat with.
Often I'm lonely for deep meaningful conversations. That's a hard one where I live.
I moved from Melbourne 5 years ago to a small country town - under 3,000 people. Everyone knows everyone. Many stick together. Many make incorrect judgement calls and gossip. Most are old traditional farming stock.
I'm a greeny. A tree hugger. A meditator. A deep thinker. Passionate about causes affecting the planet and our people. So it's not always easy to fit in.
But there is the odd person here and there that I can have a deep conversation with about one of my passions.
For the most part, I'm missing that connection with a special friend or partner - that is on the same intellectual path as me - and who holds the same values.
It's lonely some times.
In response to: Coping with lonlieness
StarshineSenior Contributor
Re: Coping with lonlieness
I TOTALLY understand and I TOTALLY know what you mean. I'm.exactly the same 🙂
In response to: Coping with lonlieness
utopiaSenior Contributor
Re: Coping with lonlieness
I wished you lived in my town @Starshine. Then we would have a good friend to laugh and cry with. A friend who supports us through our ups and downs. And a friend who encourages us, pushes us to keep growing and be a better person.
Luckily we do have that on this forum. Some amazing people who you can really open up with & who support each other on their journeys.
And maybe, just maybe, by us learning to be more open and honest here - it will lead us to be more open and honest in the so called 'real world'. And I hope that leads to good friendships in our local communities. Well that's my wish, anyway.
Luckily we do have that on this forum. Some amazing people who you can really open up with & who support each other on their journeys.
And maybe, just maybe, by us learning to be more open and honest here - it will lead us to be more open and honest in the so called 'real world'. And I hope that leads to good friendships in our local communities. Well that's my wish, anyway.
In response to: Coping with lonlieness
Unknown userMember
Re: Coping with lonlieness
Hi @Starshine
yes i did enjoy netball! Wish i had time to play still (but no where near fit enough etc)
I learnt crochet a few years ago (gave me something to do when i was in hospital lol)... and have a friend who learnt and then went and did heaps of markets selling beanies/scarves and things.
Sounds great that you are linking in with an organisation that can support you, thats great (even though its scary!).
How are you going today?
lj
In response to: Re: Coping with lonlieness
Unknown userMember
Re: Coping with lonlieness
I found out about the CWA and other groups through our local community newsletter and sometimes locals would mention things. I think this information and their branches could be on the internet - try googling it.
I was nervous when i first tried volunteering - the way I thought was that I would go in keen and give it my best shot and then see what happens. If it goes alright I will stay, if not I can always leave. Keep it a shot @Starshine - you have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Walk through your fears as that is how we make a life.
If you smile, are pleasant and help them at the charity shop they should appreciate you. Why would anyone reject a nice person unless they have the problem? The odds there are in your favour my friend - people respect volunteers. Think of the people you are also helping - it feels good and builds self confidence. There are a few avenues you can explore to ease your lonliness as well as chat on here under "enjoying time with others". What do you enjoy doing at home - your interests? I enjoy cross stitch, movies, documentaries, walking on the beach, word puzzles, reading and a bit of gardening. Let us know how you go 😊🤗
P.S. Humour is great!! Nothing better than a good laugh
In response to: Coping with lonlieness
StarshineSenior Contributor
Re: Coping with lonlieness
Hi I am so glad that I joined this forum, I wish @utopia that I lived near you too. I think sometimes It's easy going through thinking you are the only one. My psych reckons life is like a huge bell curve and people fit in the middle with the extraordinary on the little ends... I don't know about that, but I definitely think you guys are extraordinary. I don't have much contact or many friends but feel like I can start to.
I start volunteering at the red cross as soon as my police check clears and have been working on my health and fitness by doing aqua aerobics and boxing. The mind is harder tbough, endless hours of watching tvsn shopping network and Seinfeld but I believe that there is hope.
I wish I could play netball and be in a team I think that's great. 🙂 you are extraordinary woman. I can't imagine what you have been through. And @utopia you don't know how much you have made a difference to me and my day.
I start volunteering at the red cross as soon as my police check clears and have been working on my health and fitness by doing aqua aerobics and boxing. The mind is harder tbough, endless hours of watching tvsn shopping network and Seinfeld but I believe that there is hope.
I wish I could play netball and be in a team I think that's great. 🙂 you are extraordinary woman. I can't imagine what you have been through. And @utopia you don't know how much you have made a difference to me and my day.
In response to: Coping with lonlieness
StarshineSenior Contributor
Re: Coping with lonlieness
And @ over the edge my interests are horses, knitting, the water ( no beach near me though) my baby boy toby dog, I'm trying to find more but don't know them yet.
Your interests sound really cool and I want to learn more about you too, and it's so great you are all interested, I've felt so ignored for so long.
Your interests sound really cool and I want to learn more about you too, and it's so great you are all interested, I've felt so ignored for so long.
