Sudden crash and feeling like a burden

Hey @Spookums Feel free to add more thoughts as they come to you, it can be a lot writing these thoughts down sometimes.

It's really common to feel like your emotions are a burden, I'd even go as far as to say almost everyone feels like this at some point when they're reaching out to friends and family for support, so I just want you to know you're not alone in this.

Something that can help if you're worried that you're leaning too much on certain people is to look for support in a few different places to ensure you're not only relying on one person as your sole support. Reaching out here is a great step in this already.

Having said this, I do have one friend who I do tend to rely quite heavily on and vice versa, and something that's been really helpful for us is to have a talk about boundaries and have pretty open conversations about giving and getting support. Stuff like checking in on whether the other person is in a position to provide support before getting into it, and letting the other person know what sort of support we need, so one person's not feeling overwhelmed thinking they are expected to solve this issue when the other person just wanted someone to sit and listen and be a comforting presence.

Hey @Ru-bee ,

This is not a criticism. I think your response was great. But I noted an error in your second paragraph which would greatly alter your intent if read out of context: "...so I just want you to know you're now alone in this".

Anyway, I'm sure there would be no confusion regarding your intent. At all. I just wanted to bring it to your attention. Sorry for being pedantic!

Hi @Spookums

Nice to meet you, glad you have found your way here, this forum community is the best and is always there to support you. So hop on here when ye need to there will always be someone to listen.

Must say that @Ru-bee was right on as regards that support person who you rely on, they may become overwhelmed if you always run to them, thats why having an alternate like the Forum Community is a good plan B. Hope you feel a wee bit better, sunny skies are out there, you just have to part the clouds.......Asgard

Thank you for your keen eyes @StuF as that typo really altered the meaning! I've changed it now.

Not pedantic at all, I really appreciate it as I'd never be wanting to tell someone they're alone

All good @Ru-bee

Your meaning was always obvious, but it's amazing how one letter can alter the whole thing!

Hi @Spookums

Sorry to hear that you're feeling down. It's great that you're aware that this is likely something that will pass, but it must still be managed. I think it's very responsible to be aware of your needs and to want to ensure that those around you aren't burdened but at the same time, there is also the responsibility to give yourself the care and support you need and allow yourself to connect with loved ones.

The easiest thing to do is to ask them rather than assume, especially when you're feeling low. They probably want to be there for you, only needing to know how. Having those clear boundaries will allow everyone to understand what is happening, why, what can be done, and build confidence.

Hope you're doing ok x

Thank you everyone for your kindness and your advice.

I'm actually doing a bit better today. When I told my husband I was not doing well he immediately reminded me that when I left hospital earlier this year they actually had me write down a plan for steps I could take when I wasn't doing well.

I had written down a couple of activities that I labelled as "opposite action". I remember this term coming up in a class at the hospital but I don't remember the specifics now. Anyway, I had listed a few basic activities and making myself do then actually did help. I'm not quite back to 100%, but I'm no longer suicidal and no longer feel like I'm spiralling... Do that's a win!

Hi @Spookums

That is indeed a win 💜

Really glad to hear that you're finding steps to take that help you. What are 'opposite actions', if you don't mind me asking? What activities helped you?

It's good that you can reach out here when you need, too. Always someone to have a chat with, which is pretty cool, I think 🙂

Thanks @8ppleTree !

In terms of what actions, specifically: the first one I had listed was "workout in the exercise bike", which is kinda of funny because I have always hated exercise, but I combined this with the second action which was "listen to upbeat music (They Might Be Giants, The Presidents, Cake, Queen etc.). After about half an hour or so of thus I felt a bit more... Grounded, I guess?

After than I did one more opposite action which was "Write/ plan stories". I was NOT in the wire headspace to actually write anything detailed, but just sitting down and jotting down ideas for a story, plus looking up references to inspire that story, really did call me down. By the end I felt something approaching satisfaction, which for me broke the worst of the hold of those dark thoughts.

Nice @Spookums 🙂

Hope you get the ideas you need for your story.

Love the idea of the exercise bike and music. Reminds me of salsa dancing... i did it and was astounding at how grounding it is. I didn't do it because I like dancing, nor am I good at it. But once I realised it benefits of grounding, I continued.