theponiesplazaNew Contributor
Every day is getting harder and harder
I'm the host of DID system and we have been diagnosed with bipolar and are in the process of an official autism diagnosis.
We've made a lot of progress since February when we found out about our DID, internal communication is a lot better, we understand each other a lot more and etc, but I am struggling mentally a lot. There's been a lot of stress recently and with the stress the system has grown. Currently we are at 25 members and though we support each other and reassure each other I know that our current environment is hurtful and it's not just me who's suffering because of it.
I work at a corporate full time office job that can be incredibly stressful and it's not a safe environment where our DID can be disclosed meaning if I'm not present the others need to act like me. It's just exhausting and I wish I could work somewhere that would cater towards my DID. It's gotten to the point where I will disappear for hours and someone will be in my place and have no choice but to do my job even when they feel they personally can't handle it. I don't know how much longer we can withstand dealing with this without completing breaking down.
I just feel so lost and I don't know what to do. It makes me feel so ashamed of us.