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Something’s not right

The Void

The Void

I feel like there are parts of me missing, like a jigsaw puzzle, as if there was a hole inside me, forced open, ridding me of the things I once loved, but like I think I was born broken. Nothing seems to fill the void inside me. This emptiness consumes me with no place to hide. No matter how I am with, it seems to follow, lingering for far too long it’s like an empty house. I fear I’m beginning to rot, forgotten, pushed aside. I no longer find reason or desire to keep going; I am being consumed but this nothingness inside me that won’t close no matter how hard I try. This aching loneliness persists taking hold of all that I am I have tried filling this void but everything I do doesn’t help I’ve tried stealing, gambling, drinking, self harm, shopping, eating, I’ve tried good things too like I’ve tried hanging out with friends and family I’ve tried watching things I’ve tried music if tried books and I’ve tried going to church and to youth I’ve tried reading the bible but nothing ever fills the void inside me I am broken always have been always will be. It’s in my blood it always has been

5 replies

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In response to: The Void

Re: The Void

Hi @MarronButterFly I can hear how bleak things seem right now. When we're in a hard place it can feel impossible to remember a time when we felt better, or hard to imagine a time when we will.

Do you feel as though this is something that has intensified recently, or does it feel like it's always been this way?

In response to: Re: The Void

Re: The Void

@Ru-bee This void has been there since birth I’ve always had it it’s always been inside me lingering and growing and growing

In response to: Re: The Void

Re: The Void

Hey @MarronButterFly just been catching up on your post - I am sorry to hear that you're feeling so plagued by this experience. It honestly kind of reminds me of the way Irvin Yalom (my fav existential psychotherapist) spoke about the concept of existential isolation - the sense of being unable to truly know another person's inner world, and thus we are forever alone in our own minds. Here's an article about it if you wanna read a bit further into it.

It sounds like you have a strong narrative about being born this way, which makes it a lot tougher to untangle, and doesn't leave any room for growth and healing. I used to feel very similar, like there was this deep, sucking void where my heart should be. It can be very easy, when we get no relief, to feel like this is just how we are, how life is, and that there's no way that we can ever feel differently. But... well, we can. Just takes time, effort, and a good support system. Do you have a good, trusted therapist with whom you can explore these thoughts and self-concepts?

In response to: Re: The Void

Re: The Void

After being surrounded by family and friends for many decades, I now find my self with feelings of isolation, loneliness and fear. I wake with them and go to bed with them. When you are consumed by these overwhelming feelings, you feel there is no light at the end of the tunnel. The void in my heart is real, I don’t want to be told to get over it or it’ll get better with time, our feelings and emotions are real and we need to be able to share them with out fear of judgment or ridicule.

Glad I have found this platform and knowing others have similar feelings, I don’t feel like I’m losing my mind. I hear your struggle @MarronButterFly.

In response to: Re: The Void

Re: The Void

Wow @MarronButterFly

That's a horrible place to be in.

I was recently introduced to the 'void'.

Don't really know where to begin my reply with you.

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