Big plans upset me

Hi @Kate_Kate and welcome to the forums

While I can't personally relate to you experience of having bipolar, I'm sure that in time some of our lovely community will be able to reach out to you and share some of their own experiences with this.

I can see why these conversations about such big changes while you're trying to manage life's day to day challenges would be stressful. Have you been able to communicate this with your partner?

Do you feel that there will be a point that you will feel more ready to have these conversations, like "once x, y, and z are under control, then I'll have more capacity for these bigger things"? Or do you feel as though these bigger changes are something that you tend to struggle with no matter what else is going on at the time?

@Kate_Kate you make perfect sense. Logical reasoning when you say, “I want us to be coping day to day before taking on more.”

How long have you and your partner been together?

G

Hi @Kate_Kate

I am wondering, is it the big decisions or the change?

Is your bipolar stable or still on that horrible roller coaster?

I have bipolar and struggle with a lot of change. It seems to upset my rhythm, if that makes sense. I feel like change may unbalance me so I do my best to avoid it. In saying that though, avoidance is a big issue for me.

Hi @Kate_Kate

I don’t have bipolar, but I can relate to what you have shared. I struggle with change and I struggle with thinking about and planning for the future.

for example; we recently sold both our cars and bought a slightly smaller one. I knew we needed to do this for months, but I really dragged my feet on it. It was change. It was having to make big decisions. It was dealing with people. It involved risk.
We are also planning an overseas trip at the end of the year. We needed new passports. That requires effort. Getting photos. Filling out forms. Asking friends to guarantor. Getting the ex to sign off on it. Then booking flights. Accommodate and other stuff. All exciting things. But again, making big decisions. Making plans.

how on earth do I make these decision to make plans for months ahead when I struggle to get through just today. I don’t know where I’ll be next week let alone in a few months time. Especially when I struggle with SI. Will I still be around? Will I even be well enough to travel? My head has enough stuff, words, noise inside, I don’t have the capacity to add more to it.