TW: Depression

Hey @sosad-666

I hear how sad you are and how you are reflecting on your life circumstances.

Have you found anything that has been even slightly helpful in the past e.g. treatments, strategies?

I have also been in a very very dark whole for a long time in my life. I never thought I'd get out of it. I was recommended ECT and TMS, but I never ended up doing it. I have to say, I also tried a lot of different medication and finally, one did the trick... because of Community Guidelines, I cannot name the specific medication. However, I'm sharing this because sometimes, we have to experiment with a few different things in order to find something that works - you probably have already!

Please continue to hang in there and be gentle with yourself. As you said, it is probably hereditary.

When I was very low, something else that gave me respite from life was either a short 2-3 day stay in hospital or a few weeks in a prevention and recovery centre (PARCs). If I was very acutely unwell, it was hospital. If I was able to work on recovery goes, then it was PARCs. I'm not sure if you have any of these step up step down clinics in your area.

Please know you are not alone. There are many here who are going through a deep dark place.

As hard as it is, focus on the things that keep you going, whether it's your daughter, family, pets, friends, hobbies.

You deserve it.

I hope to hear from you.

Hi 👋🏼 welcome to the forum. Good for you reaching out.

There is a difference between feeling depressed and having Depression

If you have a family history of depression it is a condition, like being dyslexic or asthmatic.

I agree with @tyme it’s finding the right medication and the right dose that works for you.

I recently changed my medication and feeling much better.

G

Hi @sosad-666

I have two teenage children. I too feel like such a failure at times also. I sometimes think the only reason I'm still here is because of them. I don't want to put them through the pain and suffering.

It is really hard living with depression, especially when it seems to take over every aspect of our life. I found that seeking help really did help me. Do you have any external supports?

Like the others I am on medication. It took me and my psychiatrist awhile to find the right mixture of meds for me. I still see myself as a work in progress.

Please know that you are not alone. There are plenty of members that will relate to you.

Take care of yourself and keep posting 💕

Welcome, @sosad-666 ...I'm very sorry about your struggles with depression and your serious illness.

I know for me, medication saved my life and keeps me functioning.

Do you have any professional supports? Like a counsellor, meds, psychologist or psychiatrist?

You can type anything into the Search bar above to find threads on that topic. Also, a handy forum tip to tag someone is to type @ and then click on their name in the drop-down box - that way they'll get a notification that you've replied to them.

Hi @sosad-666

Just before I start, if you type @ then members names with come down and you can tag them. That means that they get a notification that they have responded to your post.

It is hard to surface sometimes. I find my bed a safe place to be and probably spend more time in there than I should. I'm sorry to hear about your illness. That would just add another layer of suffering for you.

I really believe that after what my kids have seen, heard and experienced because of me, that they have come away stronger. They have more empathy for people and a greater understanding of mental health. I'm sure your daughter does also and is growing into an amazing young adult. You have had a part in this. Be proud for that.

I started treatment through my gp. I went to her and got a referral to a psychiatrist. I also rang around to a few different psychology centre's, and made an appointment with a psychologist (you don't need a referral for that) asap.

Seeing your gp, you can also get a mental health care plan set up. This gives you 10(or 11) psychologist sessions per year for free. Your gp would be able to point you in the right direction.

I'm not sure that I could go through this without my supports. Yes I have my husband (who is a great support) but by speaking to a psychologist and psychiatrist I don't put so much onto him. I guess you could say that I don't burden him as much.

The other place where I found a wonderful support system is here. It is very comforting talking to people who have gone through similar things that I have. They understand, they can be there for me. There are times where I come on here and need that extra support, and other times where I can give that support to other members.
Thank you so very much for replying to me I really do appreciate it it means the world and helps. Just knowing I’m not alone is comforting in itself.

Please know that you are certainly not alone. Although we have different experiences, there are things we have in common too. When I first came onto these forums, I was told to keep talking. That just getting things out at times is so much better than bottling things up. That it can stop you from exploding. I encourage you to use these forums how you want to.

Sorry for the essay response!!! I hope today is going well for you 💕💕

Hi @sosad-666

I totally get where you are coming from. I have been on the depression roll a coaster for 22 years, and had to put my daughter in her dads care 6 years ago after being the victim of domestic abuse. I couldn't look after her, as most days, I couldn't even get out of bed. I hated having to do that, but I knew I couldn't give her the healthy upbringing. And because of the DV, I loss my job for taking too many days off, so I couldn't afford to put food on the table or have a roof over her head.

The only way I have coped with my debilitating depression was through counselling. I went through 6 therapist before finding the one who got me. And knew how to word things, so that I would take notice. I suffered for 21 years with extreme guilt over my partner's suicide and she just happened to ask the right question and immediately I felt a massive weight lift off my shoulders. So my advice is to keep changing your therapist until you find one that you gel with.

I also attended workshops to learn about the lessons that I missed out on as a child, and effected the choices I have made as an adult. They are strong on self-care and positive thinking.

My peer group support workers sent me this link

https://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/Resources/Looking-After-Yourself/Depression.

It has a workbook that you can do at your own pace. And there are other resources for a variety of mental health associated issues.

I am here if you need to chat 😊